I was given this post idea by MommaSachs at Passion. Dedication. Life. Us.
When I was 13 - the age Emma is now - like most girls I dreamed of what my life would be when I was an adult. I'd pore over the Sears and JC Penney catalogs, planning my career wardrobe, my casual wardrobe, what furniture I'd have in my fabulous house.
I never dreamed of marriage and babies, though. I never played wedding, or planned out what I wanted for my big day. I planned my education (doctorate degree, or at least a Master of something-or-other), my career path (CEO of course), and house. I decided that once I was well-established in my career in my thirties I'd maybe start to think about marriage, maybe not. I'd adopt a child or two. I never dreamed of giving birth - there were so many unloved children in the world that I wanted to bring some home with me.
That was my plan at 10-11-12-13 years old.
Instead, I was married at 19, my sophomore year of college. I did complete my Associate degree, but I still haven't completed my Bachelor's. Emma was born shortly after, we moved, bought a house, I started working while going to school, and life went on. Now I'm 32, almost 33, with a 13 year old and an 18 month old, married for nearly 14 years, and my girls are DEFINITELY not adopted. I changed my major more than once, and also my career path. I still don't know exactly what I want to be when I grow up.
The funny thing is, though, that even though my life did not go anywhere near my plan, I am okay with that. I am happy. I love my husband. I love that we still LIKE each other after 14 years. I love that we still enjoy each other. I love my children desperately. I cannot imagine life without them.
Sure, sometimes I think about "the road not taken." Who doesn't? I try to picture what my life would have been like at this age if I hadn't made the choices I did. But I can't picture it. If I had chosen anything differently, I wouldn't have anything I do now.
My childhood dreams may not have come true, but the dreams I never knew existed DID come true. And that is how it should be.