Monday, September 28, 2009

The big reveal

Last Thursday we had the 20 week ultrasound to see how the baby is doing... and find out what was cooking in there. My husband and I both had the day off from work (which also happened to be his birthday - what a gift, right?) and we picked Emma up from school early.

We headed to the doctor's office and luckily for them the ultrasound was done first thing. Technology sure has improved in the past eleven years! We could even make out the little face and fingers. We got some great pictures to bring home with us, too.

Then was the checkup. Emma informed me that she WAS going to that part, also, so I told her to bring Daddy back since he hasn't gotten to be at any previous checkup. The doctor did ask me if I was eating (again!) since I've lost five more pounds since my previous visit, bringing my total to a 15 lb loss since the first prenatal visit. I am eating, by the way, I just don't have much appetite.

If I had known this baby thing was such a good diet I might have tried it earlier...

We decided not to tell anyone the gender right away, and have a reveal party on the weekend for friends and family instead. My parents came, and my best friend and her adorable little boy came, and we had my mother-in-law on the phone for the cake-cutting. I had colored a white cake the proper color and frosted the whole thing white. I found pink and blue decorator gels at the store and covered the top in question marks.

Everyone was surprised when the inside of the cake was pink!

So, in four short months we will have two daughters. Emma is thrilled to be getting a little sister, and is already embroidering a bib for her that says "I love my big sis."

Now the quest for a name begins....

Monday, September 14, 2009

Something you should never say to a pregnant woman

For some reason, as soon as the rest of the world finds out a woman has conceived a child, the floodgates open wide for opinions, comments, and observations that would NEVER be said to a non-pregnant woman. All of a sudden, everyone wants to know about your sex life, your digestion, your bathroom habits, your plans for your breasts - why are those things suddenly ok to ask about? Especially strangers?

But what really gets me is this comment: "Wow you are huge! Are you sure you're not having twins??"

Luckily this hasn't yet happened to me with this baby, but I got it ALL THE TIME when I was pregnant with Emma. Almost daily, whenever I left my home I'd hear some variation on that exclamation many times. Even from my own family! Granted, I was too-thin before I was pregnant. But you know what? She was a big baby - one ounce less than ten pounds. And I gained 40 pounds during the entire pregnancy. So do you know what those statements accomplished?

They ruined my self-image. I immediately went from being happy with my looks (I actually modeled for years before I got pregnant) to crying whenever I looked in the mirror. I couldn't stand to see myself naked, and of course our apartment at the time had a HUGE mirror in the bathroom, so I was faced with my huge belly every time I bathed. I didn't see myself as a beautiful pregnant woman, giving life to my child. I saw an ogre, a fat cow. Gone forever was the confidence and satisfaction with how I looked to myself.

And even though this time around I am still barely showing, I continuously catch myself holding in my stomach to look thinner, worrying about my clothes making me look fat, wondering what other people think about how I look. I can't even appreciate the growing bulge in my abdomen. And I hate that.

So please, never ever tell a pregnant woman about how huge she is. I guarantee she already knows for herself, and being reminded of that does not help matters. It just might be the final straw to destroy her confidence.

At the very least, it just might get you a black eye.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

To tell the truth?

On my way to work this morning, the morning show I listen to was discussing telling the truth. Should we filter what we say or be completely honest, no matter what? Their examples were telling a friend you love her designer purse she spent her entire savings on then calling other friends to discuss its ugliness, or a friend who was visiting and said "I hate your wallpaper in the bathroom."

Why would civilized people do either? Maybe I'm getting too old for this station (Cosmo radio if you must know) but I don't get it. I can't see doing either thing. Instead of being on the extreme side of the parameters, I'm more of the "if it is important, then speak up" line of thinking.

So what if we don't like our friend's new clothes/purse/flooring/car colour? What does it really matter in the long run? If our friend is happy, why ruin their day (and chip away at their confidence) by saying how ugly we might think it to be? I'd rather save my complete honesty for when it is really important, like if she was considering passing up her dream job, selling her house to live in a commune, marry someone abusive... something major. Something life-altering, something important.

Who cares if her wallpaper or purse are ugly?