Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Gratitude

I had a sick day again yesterday. This time it wasn't me; the baby is sick. She was fine on Monday, slightly congested Monday night, then when I woke her up yesterday morning her nose was all crusted over and her poor little eye was matted shut! I used a warm washcloth to free her face while I called the pediatrician's nurse, who wanted her seen right away. Turns out she has infection in both ears and her eye. But we caught it before it got TOO terribly bad. Anyway, yesterday was spent as it should be: snuggled up on the couch with my babygirl. Older babygirl was at her grandparents' house but we exchanged phone calls/texts all day. She knew Sophie was sick first thing, since she called me as I was getting my phone to call the nurse, and wanted me to call her right away after the visit. "I want to know EVERY detail." Such a caring big sister! She even offered to cut her visit short and come home early - even though beloved Aunt Shirley flew in yesterday. I love my girls.

I used a quiet opportunity yesterday to make another entry in my gratitude journal. I discovered something awful, though - it won't save if I list more than five things! So I had to cut a few lines from the list. I believe that it still needs to get "out there" somehow, so here is my full list from yesterday:

* Understanding boss
* Great healthcare providers
* Health insurance (picked up 4 prescriptions yesterday. Total cost: $0)
* Medicine to heal my babygirl
* She likes her antibiotic!! No struggles to get the medicine down her throat
* Happy babies (no crankiness or fussiness all day)
* It wasn't quite as hot yesterday.
* Fans - one fan kept our house 9 degrees cooler all day yesterday.
* Caring older daughter
* Diaper Genie (you really don't want to know the details there...)

And of course, as usual, my husband, my daughters, my family, my friends. I don't know how I would get through this life without them.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

What's cooking?

So I decided to make Sophie's baby food instead of buying it. Not only is it healthier, it's a lot cheaper, too! I did get discouraged in the beginning because I couldn't get my baby food maker to work properly and bought a couple packages of Gerber, but after some time to calm down, an email and a phone call to customer service, I am cooking up a storm!

A couple months ago I got the First Years' BabyPro All-in-one baby food maker. It is a little unit with a steamer and food processor. It is not very big, and doesn't take up much counter space. Since I do not have a real food processor, don't know where to get one or what in the world I'd do with it other than make baby food, and have no idea how to steam foods on the stove, I figured it was a sound investment. And we have a small kitchen - the size and having everything in one unit was a huge plus.

I started out with squash. The babysitter has a garden and had given me four HUGE yellow squash. Huge is more of an understatement - these things were monsters. I cut up part of one for the steamer, cooked the rest for our dinner, and had leftovers. Then apples, avocado (not steamed), and peaches. I made cherries and banana next. Today I went grocery shopping and picked up frozen peas, and fresh pears, plums, sweet potatoes, and butternut squash. This baby will be eating good the next few months!

My husband seems a bit surprised by all this. He is fully behind it, but can't figure out where the food-processing bug came from. Honestly, I don't either. I am NOT this domesticated. I cook from mixes, not from scratch. I much prefer the fast, easy way to cook. But I just can't make myself buy all this jarred babyfood!

At least I know without a doubt what will be going in her little stomach. And we won't have to worry about any recalls, either.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

So hard to say goodbye

So my goal of writing every day has already hit a snag! I DID remember, but it was after midnight and I knew if I turned on my computer it wouldn't be just to write something. The allure of the internet is just too strong!

In my defense, yesterday was a REALLY bad day. My 12 yr old has been sick since Thursday, the baby had a fever off and on over the weekend, and I woke up on Sunday sick also. Yesterday felt worse. Also, I had a feeling my cat was getting another UTI since I found dark brown pee from her on Sunday and sure enough, when we got up yesterday morning she was sick also. So I took a sick day so Em and I could recover and I could take the cat to the vet for some antibiotics.

When we got there, the diagnosis wasn't what I had expected at all. It was not a UTI but a recurring infection (she had it in January also but made a full recovery). Her little body would attack its own red blood cells suddenly (that was the dark brown urine) and this time she just couldn't fight it off. The only treatment was a blood transfusion, but that itself would probably have been too much stress on her sick little body. I called my husband to discuss it with him, when suddenly the vet said "I need a decision NOW because she's dying on the table." So after 13 years of life, my poor kitty left us. It was so hard on us all. She and her sister were our "practice babies." We got them as 6 month old kittens when we were pregnant with Emma. These two animals have trained us well. Sure, we gave Ocoee the nickname "Pita" (Pain in the a**) but loved her dearly. She loved nothing more than to get in a lap and be the center of attention.

Chris came home from work early and buried her. I picked out a spot under the dogwood tree at the edge of our yard. The vet's office did provide a burial box for her, which was very nice. Her sister Charla seems to know something is different - she has been very clingy since we got home yesterday morning.

So that's why I didn't write anything yesterday. I was sick and heartbroken. That's also all I can write about it today because if I don't stop now, I'll start crying again and I'm back at work today. Can't have that. It was hard enough finding her fur all over one of my bags. She had slept on it most of Saturday when she wasn't trying to steal my seat at the dinner table or stealing the bacon left unattened for a few minutes.

I'm going to miss that little bugger...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Mamas, I need your help!

I realized I am guilty of doing something I have always been opposed to doing.

I don't know how to change.

I had this realization when I was browsing a local website for moms, www.knoxmoms.com (BTW if you live in Knoxville area and have kids, check out this site. Bookmark it. Seriously.) Anyway, there is a group titled KnoxMoms for Comprehensive Sexual Education. My first thought is "Excellent!" I really think kids should be taught about sex - their body parts, what they do, how to protect themselves, and how to communicate about their feeling. I really do!

However - ask me how many times I've discussed this with my own 12 year old daughter. Or better yet, don't ask me! I can't answer that! When she was 8, she asked me what a period was and I gave her a basic, bare-bones discussion of what happens, reproduction-wise, but no real details. With my pregnancy, she learned all about baby developement and how babies are actually born. She has had a class at school, but I don't even know what was covered! She says the teacher never actually got around to the "sex" part of the sex-education class. I dont' even know for sure how much she actually knows!

This is not healthy at all. I was (intentionally or not) raised thinking sex was bad, not discussed at all, forbidden. When my mom tried to have "the talk" with me I was so freaked out I wouldn't let her speak. I still can't discuss things like that with her! I'm married with two kids so obviously she's aware I'm not a virgin, but I still can't have that conversation. When I think of having a similar discussion with Emma, I have the same awkward freak-out in my head and just put it off again. I just can't get the words out!

On one hand, I am afraid of "spoiling her innocence" - exposing her to this foreign, scary world that she doesn't need to think about at her age. On the other hand, I am well aware of what other kids her age are doing and think she probably knows some of it already. Is some misinformation? Probably. But I'm too afraid to broach the subject with her to find out.

How do I get over this?