Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Day 4 - Forgiven but not quite forgotten

Day 4 in 30 Days of Truth is supposed to be "something you have to forgive someone for."  There is only one thing that comes to mind, and I've already forgiven that someone for that something.

But I can't quite seem to forget it.

I am sure that someone would like for me to have forgotten, and perhaps thinks I did. But, try as I might, I can't. The memory of what happened, the words that were exchanged, the emotions I felt- they sneak up on me sometimes still, several years later. They brought with them new emotions - heartbreak, insecurity. The insecurity is the kicker. Heartbreak heals. Eventually, it always heals. But insecurity... it is like herpes. You can supress it, and it will be gone for a long time, but it never really TRULY leaves. It will sneak in when you least expect it and creep around your thoughts, making you doubt yourself and everything you know.

The forgiveness part is easy.

I just wish the forgetting part was.

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