What about working moms?

Here are a few wonderful activities for children in our community:

Mother Goose (music, stories, games)
Storytime at the library
Open play at bounce facilities
Craft activities
Art lessons
Mommy and Me yoga

And that's just a few I can think of off the top of my head. I am sure if I really looked, I could find many other examples. There are also groups for moms - La Leche League, holistic moms, meetups, playgroups.... you get the idea.

It's wonderful!

There is just one problem: they meet, almost without fail, somewhere between 9 am and 3 pm, on weekdays.
That leaves us out. Of all of them.

Sure, there are some weekend events. But on weekends, there is laundry to be done, house to be cleaned up, weddings, visits with family, and anything we couldn't do during the week. We can't often make it to these events. Usually, though, we don't fit the demographic anyway. Sophie is too young, Emma too old.

I would love to take Sophie to Mommy and me exercise or storytime. Mother Goose has times for various baby stages so she'd fit right in. Some of the mom groups sound amazing, too.

It's almost like working moms aren't counted anymore.

I don't want this to be a "Mommy wars" post - I've done both, working mom and stay-at-home mom. Both are important. One is not better than the other. One is not harder than the other. That is not the point of this at all. But I have noticed, and not only recently, that organizers forget that some moms work, too.

Would you surgically impair your tongue to lose weight?

I heard about this on the radio this morning: a plastic surgeon in LA has developed a "Miracle Patch" to help patients lose 20 lbs a month. No drugs or chemicals are used. Sounds good, right?

Wrong.

He surgically applies the patch to the tongue, making it extremely painful to eat. THAT is how the patients lose so much weight - they can't eat solid food.

It's crazy.

I just can't fathom being willing to have something surgically applied to your tongue that will make it so painful to eat anything at all. And what about speaking? How does the tongue know the difference? Or will we see a new trend of thin, mute people?

There is a gallery on the doctor's website that includes a photo of a patient having this procedure performed. It is a square mesh patch sewn onto the tongue with blue surgical thread at the corners. So, if Sally Somebody has this done, she will be thin, mute, and look like grandma sewed a piece of plastic canvas to her tongue with extra blue thread.

Just wonderful.

But what should we expect from someone who advertises "Mommy and Me" plastic surgery packages?

It's revolting.

 

Dating my daughter

I went on a date with my daughter on Sunday.

In the efforts to not have her feel excluded, replaced, or anything negative about having a new baby in the house, she has continued the Daddy-Daughter Date from her small childhood, but I realized last week that since the baby was born eight months ago, she and I hadn't really had any time together, just the two of us.

So, I made a date with her.

We left S home with Daddy, and started with lunch. We tried a new restaurant, and she was having trouble deciding what to order. I asked her what she was looking at, and she said she couldn't decide between the half sandwich and cup of soup, or a full sandwich because she could get fresh fruit as the side item. No pizza, no chips as the side. A sign of my first baby growing up.

We had a while before our movie started, so we did a little shopping next. We have a wedding to attend this Saturday; it's turned cold here and all her dressy clothes are very much for summer. We each got a new outfit for the wedding, and S even got a new dress. We looked through the dresses in E's size, then she wanted to look at dresses in my size. We got side-by-side fitting rooms and showed each other the dresses as we tried them on. She helped pick out S's, also. No asking for more, no grumbling about buying something for the baby our our day. Another sign that she's growing up.

Next was Borders. They were having a tent sale this weekend; the most expensive book we saw in the tent was $3.99 and all were buy one get one free. Too bad neither of us found anything. We went inside the store and found the book we were after. She has really gotten into the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovitch. She has read the first six books in just a few weeks, so we bought number seven.

Then it was time for the movie. We watched You Again, with Kristen Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, and Betty White. And the dad from Alias. It was a very funny movie, by the way. The whole theater was laughing out loud. We passed up popcorn (still full from lunch - we agreed that next time it will be half sandwiches and soup) but each got a box of candy. We laughed, we munched candy, moaned about how full we were but couldn't resist the sweets, laughed some more.

The absolute best part of the afternoon? We both agreed that we had a wonderful time. She wasn't embarassed to be out with her mom, we enjoyed each other's company and conversation, and didn't argue about anything. We sang along to the radio, chatted about anything and everything, and just hung out.

And it was incredible.

I think we need to make this a regularly scheduled event.

View from the living room floor

Hey, there's something bright and colorful!

*scoot-scoot-scoot*

Wow, they make sounds if I bang two together! I wonder what happens when I bang it on the dog...

*scoot-scoot-reach*

He jumps! Hahaha! Oh. Then he goes away. Well, I'll show him!

*scoot-scoot-scoot-scoot-scoot-scoot*

Oh hey, what's that? It's splashy! And the dog was drinking it so it must be good to play with.

*splash-splash-splash*

Hey! Mommy, why are you taking me back into the living room? I was having fun! I wasn't done yet!

*scoot-scoot-scoot*

Oh wait, what's this?

*reaching under the couch*

Cool! A long black thing with a square black thing in the middle! And it keeps coming! *gigglegigglegiggle*

Mommy! Why did you take that away? Oh, it's attached to the shiny thing that opens up and has lights and sounds and pictures of sister and me. Ok, it's still fun.

*reaching again*

*and again*

*and again*

But I don't wanna be in my exersaucer! Noooo!! Ooh, it plays music when I jump! Cool! What does this button do? And I can chew on this part all I want? Sweet! Look Mommy - I can reach the books now!

Hey, where did the doggies go? I can go back on the floor? Nice. Let's see what changed.

*scoot-scoot-scoot*

Mommy walked by! Pick me up!! Please!

Mmmm, Mommy cuddles. This is nice. I'm sleepy now after all that exploring. Naptime!

Day 30 - I can't believe this is the end!

Wow. I can't believe I've finally reached the end of the 30 days! I wonder if this is how Morgan Spurlock felt...  (man I miss that show)
So here it is - Day 30
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Dear Self,
I love your eyes. I love that you don't get angry easily. I love that you are positive. I love that you love to be with your family. I love how you play with your babies. I love that you love animals. I love that you have a good work ethic. I love that you have a conscience. I love that you are becoming more adventurous and less afraid of stepping out of the box. I especially love that. I love that you and your husband not only still love each other, but still LIKE each other after 13 years.
Sincerely,
Christine

Day 29- Laundry List

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself.

Ok, here goes...
My size
My teeth
I procrastinate
I let things slide
I have too much to do and not enough energy for all of it
I hate putting away laundry
I am in a dinner rut
I'm easily distracted
My hairstyle (or lack of)

Day 28 - Scary stuff

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

Oh boy. I have no doubt what I'd do if I was pregnant again - PANIC.
First of all, I've already had a procedure that is supposed to make me unable to get pregnant ever again. Second, Sophie is only 7 months old! Third, we only have a 3 bedroom house and it's not a large 3-bedroom house. Fourth, things are tight now. There is no way we could afford a third child.
But in the end, if it happened somehow, I suppose we'd do what families all over the world do - we'd make it work somehow.

Day 27 - Best thing going3

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My marriage
My daughters
My job
Good books to read
Parties to plan
Weddings to attend
Lunches with friends
The views in our town
Threw out the scale
Healthier eating
Fall TV starting
Found my iPod

Day 26 - Giving up

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

The timing of this one is heartbreakingly eerie.

I had a few hectic days and wasn't able to get to the next Truth immediately. Friday I did have a minute while eating lunch to look at it, but not enough time to write anything. I had planned, though, to just give a simple answer of "no" and go on to the next one.

Then, Saturday morning, I got a text message that changed everything.

A dear friend at work DID decide to give up on life. It still hasn't fully sunk in, and probably won't until tomorrow at work when I am around everyone else that worked with her, or maybe not even until Tuesday, her usual first day of the week.

Sunshine (her nickname; Judy, her given name, was her name only when she was in a bad mood, which wasn't often) was the first person I met at the hospital when I started my job. She took me under her wing, answered any question I had, and helped me when I didn't even know I needed it. She was the first person at work I told when I was pregnant with Sophie. She always asked about the girls, and sent gifts to them all the time. She made everyone laugh. It was easy to love her. She had such a big heart in such a tiny little body. Every day she had a smile for someone.

I had noticed last week she wasn't her usual cheerful self, but she was sick and I attributed it to her not feeling well. Working 12-hour shifts when you are under the weather will do that to anyone. Still, I'd get moments of her usual Sunshine-ness throughout each day.

She doesn't work Fridays, so I didn't get to see her that day. I have no idea what happened, why she chose to do what she did. I am sure we'll never know. I just can't believe I'll never talk to her again, hear a hilarious naughty joke from her, get a smile and a wave and a "Hello, Love" from her again.

My heart is heavy.

Day 25 - A dash of existentialism

I didn't realize these posts were going to get quite so deep...

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today

Why are any of us still alive today? No, really - how do we know? If we are alive so we can be in a certain place at a certain time to save a life, or to set something in motion, do we even realize it? For example, have you seen the movie Vantage Point? It's a pretty cool movie, just from the way the story is told. But that's not my point. Not to give much away, but at one point Forest Whitaker's character saves a little girl from being hit by a vehicle. Was that his reason for living? Will he ever know? Or was it just coincidence and anyone could have been there?

I almost drowned once. I am not sure if I ever told my parents this story, I do know that I didn't immediately because I didn't want to cause them to worry or be upset, even though everything turned out fine. (I'm sure I'll get a phone call later if I didn't tell them.) On the day I graduated from high school, after the party at our house, my boyfriend at the time, my best guy friend (BGF) at the time and I went to the river. That's what kids do in that small town. We were blessed with beautiful waterfalls, though. One is called Baby Falls. It's dangerous I suppose, but not like the big beautiful one further downriver, Bald River Falls. (You can see photos of both waterfalls here.) Anyway, apparently it was popular to jump off of Baby Falls into the river below. My BGF had done it many times with other friends, and we decided to go there. He and I were sitting at the top of the falls, when I quickly came to a realization - he and his friends all outweighed me by around 100 lbs. As we were sitting there trying to get the courage to jump, I was pulled over the falls by the current and could not stop myself. Just to the left of where the photo cuts off are some large boulders in the river. The current pulled me to the bottom of one of them, and I could not get out. I wasn't caught on anything, but the current kept pushing me down. I thought to myself, "I am going to die on the day I graduated high school." Then I thought, "No, I'm not! I'm not done living yet!" and started pushing and kicking against the boulder. Finally I made it to the surface, only to be caught again in the current and be carried further down. I was in the middle of the river, too, with nothing to grab hold of. My BGF had been following along with me on the side of the river, and he was able to get in the water and swim to me and catch me, and help me get to shore, and our day of swimming was over.

So, why am I still alive? One year after that happened I met my husband, and now we have two daughters. Are they the reason? Will they accomplish great things? Will their children? Maybe. Who knows? Maybe I still have something to do. Maybe I've already done it and don't realize it.

I do know, though, that I am very glad to be here. And even though our friendship became tumultous and eventually faded, I am forever grateful to my friend for jumping in the river and saving me.

Day 24 - This one goes out to the ones I love

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

1. I Know What I Am, Band of Skulls
2. Single Ladies, Beyonce
3. They All Laughed, Charlie Biddle Trio ft. Stephanie Biddle
4. Like a Star, Corinne Bailey Rae
5. You Gotta Be, Des'ree
6. Seasons of Love, Rent soundtrack
7. Cinderella, Cheetah Girls
8. Hands, Jewel
9. Heaven, Live

This playlist is for two girls, Emma and Sophie. Now for the explainations.

1. Always know who you are. Don't let anyone make you into something you're not.

2. When you are older and dating, make him work for it. Don't settle for second best. And if you are dating someone forever and you just aren't sure - if he's really the one, he'll put a ring on it. At least you will be discussing it. And if you have a feeling of doubt or worry when discussing it, he's not the one.

3. When you find the right one for you, don't let other people tell you otherwise. Someone will always want to define your relationship for you, or tell you what you should do based on their experiences. Ignore them and live your own life.

4. Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel off the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same
Just like a song in my heart
Just like oil on my hands
Oh, I do love you

5. Be bold. Be strong. Be wise. Know you are loved.

6. Measure your life in the important things - friends, laughter, love.

7. Em outgrew this group a few years ago, but this song still has a great message: I don't wanna be Cinderella, waiting for someone to come rescue me. I'd rather rescue myself. I hope both girls live by this.

8. Your hands are your own, so is your life.

9. How could I look at these two and not believe?

Day 23 - I wish

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life

I wish I had gone straight through college without taking a break.

I wish I had stuck with my original major instead of changing.

I wish I had been braver sometimes.

I wish I had been quieter other times.

I wish I had done a few things differently than I did.

I wish I had been more assertive.

Day 22 - Regrets, anyone?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life


Hurt others' feelings

Led boyfriends on, let them think I was as "serious" as they were

Wasted time

Wasted money
 
Read certain things

Lost touch

Lost my iPod

Spent time with "this group" instead of "that group" in college

Let things slide

Let fear take over

Given up on something I wanted

Day 21- That's what friends are for

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Ok, this is a no-brainer. Fight, schmight... What is a little disagreement in a situation like this?? I can't remember us ever getting into a fight so I don't see it happening now, but if it did, that is not even close to stopping me from being there for her. At the hospital, taking care of her son, sitting with her mom, at her house cooking for her, whatever she needed. Without question.

Day 20 - Nancy Reagan would approve

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Remember the old "Just Say No" campain from Nancy Reagan? I guess it was in the mid-80s because I was in elementary school. Or how about the egg in a frying pan?

They sure didn't give many details, did they?

As for alcohol, it falls into my "everything in moderation" category. I am not a drinker myself, personally I can't stand the taste of alcohol, but if someone wants to enjoy adult beverages, more power to them! As long as they are responsible about it, who am I to judge? Don't drink and drive and have someone sober in charge of the kids and you're ok with me.

Drugs are a different story. Drugs are bad. More than just "frying your brain" like the egg commercial, they ruin lives. Of course not ALL drugs are evil; many of them are wonderful healing tools prescribed by doctors (and yes, I include marijuana in this category. It's been proven over and over again.). But the bad ones - meth, heroin, cocaine, whatever else is out there - they are so not worth ever trying. And watch out for those prescriptions, too - some of those can be addicting as well. Frequently I hear in the news about a pharmacy being robbed for Oxycontin or Vicodin.

Just say no.