So this happened.

I was innocently driving to work, when I saw a spider on the inside of my windshield. This is what filled my brain next:

OMG OMG OMG there is a spider in my car! Where's that tissue I had... there. Oh no, the spider is gone. Where did it go?? It was crawling toward the crack between the windshield and the car, maybe it's in the dark area. Oh no, stay in this lane. Don't need to have an accident on the interstate. Imagine explaining that? "There was a spider in my car, officer! No, not a huge one, quite small actually. But STILL!" Yeah, don't see that going over well. I still can't find it. OMG. OMG. Ok, you're okay. Deep breaths. Deep breaths and the shudders and goosebumps should go away. Maybe. OMG my leg itches! What if it fell down and crawled up the side of my boot and now is in my pants?! Or in my boot?? OMG it itches!! There's a spider in my boot. What am I going to do? It has to get out! Calm down, it's highly unlikely the spider crawled up your boot and down into it that quickly, and you would have felt it going down your leg, not just a sudden spot. Probably. Ok, traffic light. Time to examine that crack where the window meets the car and find that spider and squish it. Where is it? OMG it's not there. It IS in my boot after all! Oh it itches! It's going to bite me!! Deep breaths, you can do this. Almost to work. Do NOT pull over and run out of the car screaming. Do not. It's not that bad. Deep breaths.

****

Finally I made it to work. I went straight to the restroom and took off my pants, socks, and boots to check for spiders. Nothing.

For the record, I'm not that much of a crazy person! I was bitten by a spider, too quickly to see what kind other than it's small size, and discovered I'm allergic to spiders. And crawling across your windshield right in front of your face is NO picnic, either.

I hope it's gone by the end of the work day.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

To understand me

Today's post is from a writing prompt blog.
"What is something about you people do not seem to understand no matter how many times you try to explain?"

I thought about this one a while, and had nothing. But for some reason, it stuck with me. Then on my way home tonight it hit me.

What most people don't seem to understand is that behind the public "me," behind any confidence or bravado I show the world, is an insecure, shy little girl. A girl who doesn't think anything she does is good enough. A girl who needs reassurance that yes, people really like her. A girl who hates that she needs reassurance. A girl who rarely phones her friends because she convinces herself that they don't want to hear from her or truly like her but are just humoring her and trying to figure out how to get off the line. A girl who second-guesses everything she does or says.

I don't like that little girl much, and try to silence her, but she's always there, waiting just under the surface. She slips out when I'm tired, when I'm in a new situation or around new people. She whispers in my ear, pointing out all my flaws and insecurities. She points and laughs at me, mocking me.

I want to make her go away but I don't know how.

Date night!

After Christmas, my husband and I were given restaurant gift cards to use for a night out, just the two of us. We finally took time for that last night, and went to Longhorn Steakhouse. I'm not a steak fan, but I wasn't in a pasta mood (shocking, right?) so I quickly pulled up the menu on my phone as he was driving and liked the choices.

Interestingly, the picture I found is exactly what I had - Grilled Chicken & Stuffed Portabella. From the menu description: "Tender grilled chicken breast topped with mushroom sauce and a cheese stuffed portabella mushroom." The meal came with a salad and a side, and I chose the mixed greens salad and baked sweet potato.



Photo courtesey Longhorn Steakhouse website



The salad itself was pretty good, but the dressing (raspberry vinaigrette) was not. It was very light on raspberry and heavy on the vinegar! I just couldn't finish the salad.



The food came fairly quickly. The mushroom sauce wasn't exactly what I had expected; it was more like a brown gravy with mushrooms but was okay. The chicken itself was very good, but the sauce could have been left off easily. However, the portabella was perfection. Seriously, I would have happily ate a plate of nothing but stuffed portabellas and been satisfied. (Just a suggestion, if anyone at Longhorn happens to read this - you really should offer a stuffed portabella entree! I'm not kidding - that would be fantastic!) I was also satisfied with the baked sweet potato - it came with both brown sugar and cinnamon along with butter, and was baked to a soft perfection. 

As tempting as the desserts looked, we were just too full.

We had a good time. It's nice to get out just the two of us, even though it doesn't happen as often as we'd like. I'm very thankful, though, that after fifteen years we still enjoy each other's company and still find things to talk about.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I made cinnamon rolls! (Dye-free)

We like cinnamon rolls on weekends. However, last month it dawned on me to check the labels of the canned ones we usually make, and every single brand has artificial dyes. (Good thing Miss Sophie doesn't eat much.) I suspect it's the icing, but didn't want to take the chance. So, we've been without.

This morning I woke up thinking about cinnamon rolls, and had an idea. I made regular biscuit dough, and made the roll with that. With some melted butter and homemade icing, we had an ooey gooey breakfast.

Recipe:
2 1/2 c Bisquick
2/3 c milk
1/2 stick butter, melted
1/8 c brown sugar
1 tsp (estimated) cinnamon

Make biscuit dough with the Bisquick and milk. Knead and roll out into a rectangle approximately 1 cm thick. Brush with some of the melted butter. Combine brown sugar & cinnamon in a small bowl, and cover the rectangle. Roll the dough into a log, and slice into 1/2 inch thick slices.

Pour most of the remaining melted butter into the bottom of a round pan. Arrange the cinnamon rolls in the pan and brush with any remaining leftover butter. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes.

For the icing, I poured about 1/4 c half and half into a small bowl and added around 1 tsp vanilla. I stirred in approximately 1 c powdered sugar, 1/4 c at a time, until it was thick enough to glaze the rolls. (I didn't actually measure anything in the icing, I just mixed & added until it looked right.) when the cinnamon rolls were finished baking, I poured the glaze over them. It didn't sit on top like thicker icings, but soaked in the rolls.

They were delicious!

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Self-love

In my inbox today was the latest email from Kind Over Matter. I love that site and her positive message. A post today was about self love. Not *that* kind of self love, but loving who you are and showing it. I've been down lately which leads to beating myself up over everything, so I think I need to try a little loving instead.

And I'm struggling. I left this open for an hour and still nothing. Everything I can think of I then talk myself out of. I'm organized at work (but my house makes me stabby). I mostly cook good food (but am in such a rut lately and totally messed up the pomegranate balsamic marinade earlier in the week). I used to like my hair, but even it's become nondescript. People can't even correctly tell what color it is when standing in front of me! And how can I look like both a blond and a brunette when I have red hair? When E was little I heard "Oh she looks just like you!" and now I get "Where do your girls get their red hair?" Really?

Anyway, it seems like my self-love muscle needs a bit of a workout. Maybe I need some homework.

Stay tuned.

Dye-free birthday party

If you want to read about how we managed a completely artificial dye-free birthday party, check out my other blog, Adventures in Babyfooding!

Pictures included :)