It's never okay

There has been a lot of uproar about Chris Brown performing at the Grammy's this weekend and winning an award. I didn't watch them, and I really have no comment on whether or not he should have performed or won. That is not the subject of this post.

The tweets below from Grammy night are (images from buzzfeed.com).
The average age of the girls who made the tweets is sixteen. Many people are excusing the tweets, saying it's okay because he's famous/rich/an entertainer/whatever and will never be in a relationship with everyday girls. But you know who will? That cute guy in math class who may have a bit of a temper, but he always says he's sorry. He doesn't mean it. Or the friendly upperclassman who shows them around campus when they begin college - isn't it sweet how he wants to spend so much time with her? I'm sure her family will understand why she can't come home over the holiday break. Excusing this kind of behavior is telling the girls that domestic violence is okay. It's teaching them that they should put up with it when their boyfriends hit them.

In case you've forgotten what exactly Brown did that is being brushed off as no big deal, here are transcripts from the police report that night. Read all of it. I dare you.

If he had shown any remorse for that night, or had given any indication that he has been working on change, or had even stayed out of the spotlight for violent behavior, it might be easier to forgive and get past it. But he hasn't. In fact, he has shown further violence when questioned about that night. Even this weekend, he posted the following tweet in response to the outcry against him:

Humility? No. Remorse? No. Instead, his message is more along the lines of 'I beat the crap out of my girlfriend and put her in the hospital, but it's okay. I won a Grammy so it's all good."

Please, learn from this situation. Learn the signs of domestic violence and abuse. Educate yourselves, so that if you notice the signs in a friend's relationship (or your own) you will not excuse the behavior but get help. There are always ways to get out, even if it seems hopeless.

Domestic violence is never okay.