Am I becoming my mother?

A recent Daily Mail headline proclaimed that women start to become like their mothers at age 32.

I am 32.

Not that becoming like my mother is a bad thing! I love my mother and we've always had a great relationship. But is it inevitable? This article seems to think so.

Apparently, now that I'm 32, I will start using phrases like "Don't make a face like that or it will stick," worrying more, and watching soaps.

Ummm... Seriously?

Obviously these writers have never met me or my mother! (Well, obviously in the literal sense, but you know what I mean.)  Weird phrases? Nope. I remember my grandmother throwing out the occasional expression like that, but not my mother. Worrying? Well, ok... my mother is a bit of a worrier (I love you Mom but it's true!). I worry about the usual things - bills getting paid, is the sickness of a child just a simple cold or something that needs a pediatrician visit, things like that. Soaps? When I was a kid she watched some, and so I did with her and continued watching one for a while - but it's been years since either of us has viewed a soap. However, I have noticed that we both seem to favor HGTV during the day. Hmm....

Needless to say, this was not a scientific study by any means, but a poll of 1,000 people who admitted they started using phrases and picking up habits from their mothers at this age. I bet their mothers answered poll questions, too. Not to mention this completely ignores the influence of fathers! I think I'm a lot like both my parents.

And you know what? I'd be honored to be thought of as alike to either one of them.


Just a fun addition - this was in the same article: "Meanwhile, earlier this week it emerged that it is after 70 that we are likely to be at our happiest – as long as we enjoy good health, have sufficient income and are not lonely."
Can you say "Duh!" That's true at any age!

Why is it so bad Bachelor Brad and Emily aren't married yet?

Disclaimer: I have never watched an episode of this show. However, I cannot escape coverage of it. Besides, the actual episodes have no bearing on this topic.

A week or so ago, whenever this season of The Bachelor ended, I saw an interview on a morning news program with Brad and Emily. (That is the only  names I know for them, no last names, so that is how I will refer to them.) A clip was shown from the last episode, the one where the host sits down with the couple to see how things stand now, a few months after the filming ended. Emily stated that she did love him and wanted to marry him, but not right now. She has a daughter to consider, the question of location (they live in different states), and her career to think about.

And she was booed.

Seriously, people?? For once, the couple on this show are acting in a mature and responsible manner, taking time to get to know each other without all the other women around, no producers, no cameras, just themselves and their families. They want to work out important things, issues that should be considered before a couple marries. In "real life" they would be applauded - and if they DID rush into marriage after only a few months, you KNOW people would judge and question them. No one would expect it to last.

Another disclaimer - yes, I know I was one of those who married quickly. I've made no secret that my husband and I were married four months after we met. However, I still think we are an exception, not the rule.

There are constant tabloid reports of them breaking up, arguing, "Trouble in Paradise" headlines - but really, why is everyone pushing them to get married NOW? Is it so all the Bachelor-watchers can have a new special episode to watch? Is our entertainment more important than a family's lives??

We (in general) need to get over ourselves, and stop thinking that other people exist purely for our entertainment. The season is over, let their 15 minutes run out, and let them get to know each other and decide for themselves how and when they want to progress.

Girl time

Today, my husband left on a business trip, so it's just me and the girls for a few days. We went to church, then grocery shopping, where we picked up a frozen pizza for lunch to enjoy while we watched a movie. It turned into movie day for us - far different than the day of housecleaning I had planned, but so much better!

We spent the afternoon snuggled on the couch, watching the movies, chatting, and laughing together. S has learned how to tickle and had such a good time practicing her new skill on her big sister! They played together quite a bit, too.  Now both are in bed and the house is quiet, but it's an air of happiness and contentment.

The girls miss their Daddy and I miss my husband, but I am thankful for the girl time. One day all too soon E will be all grown up, then S behind her. I am cherishing every bit of time I have with them.

I'm over the MamaDrama

The day I found out I was pregnant with S, I was doing some Googling and found a great website for pregnant families (yes, families. E was very involved with this pregnancy. It was her baby sister growing in there, after all!). BabyCenter can be an excellent resource - each week I received an email with the development of the baby, a drawing of what was going on in there, with explanations of how things were growing and changing. Each Sunday, E and I would cuddle up on the couch and see how her little sister was coming along. I know it taught her more about human biology than any schoolbook ever could.


The site also has many message boards - "birth clubs" (members all have babies born/due in the same month), parents of all ages of kids, and every interest o family situation under the sun. They are also an excellent window into the Mommy Wars.

Seriously - these ladies get so worked up over things! The recent news about recommendations to keep babies rear-facing in car seats longer? Has been a hot topic for several months now. And heaven forbid someone gets excited and posts a cute picture of their child facing forward (legally!) - she gets bashed for pages and called a horrible mother. Feed your baby formula? Use disposable diapers? Oh, the horror! And don't even bring up vaccinations.

I am so over the drama! As long as your children are happy, healthy, and well-cared-for, who cares how you go about it? Do these mothers really think that when they march their little angels to school for the first day of kindergarten the teachers will ask where they slept as infants, if they breastfed or drank formula, if they used cloth diapers or not? No. One. Cares. It's just another way for some to feel superior.  Message signature lines are filled with all kinds of acronyms stating parenting styles. It gets a bit ridiculous sometimes.

Some arguments I CAN get behind (although I stay far away from the drama, just agree in my own head). I do think  Baby Bjorns and similar carriers are evil and should be burned. Multiple studies have shown how bad they are for infants' developing hips and spine. And can you imagine how uncomfortable they must be for the poor babies? But I go on my way, letting S ride along comfortably in our preferred carrier if she isn't walking or riding in the shopping cart (without the snazzy expensive cover).

If you want to know how I feel about diapering, vaccinating, "crying it out" at bedtime, or a multitude of other issues, go ahead and ask! I'll gladly share what works for us. But I won't preach to you. What works wonderfully for our family may be a disaster for yours.

A happy update!

In my post about ending the age limit for breastfeeding in public, I mentioned that I wrote to my State Senator asking for him to support Senate Bill 83. I had actually forgotten about sending the email, and was momentarily confused when I had an email from someone named "Randy" with the bill name in the subject line.

He answered my email!  I honestly wasn't expecting to get a reply at all, and if I did I thought it would probably be a form letter. This was a pleasant surprise.

Here is my original email:

Dear Senator McNally,

I recently learned of Senate Bill 83, proposing to eliminate the wording that limits breastfeeding in public to infants under twelve months of age. I urge you to please vote in support of this bill, and thus in support of breastfeeding mothers and babies all across our state. In our nation, mothers are pressured to wean their babies as soon as they turn one year old, when weaning is not always best. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding along with solid foods to age two and beyond. (http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/) Mothers should feel comfortable in providing the best possible care for their children without fear of repercussions, simply because a date on the calendar has passed. Tennessee can be an example to the rest of the country of how to support nursing mothers and our children!

As a nursing mother whose infant is quickly approaching the one-year mark, I ask you to please publicly support this bill and vote yes when the time comes.
Thank you,

And here is the reply:

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding SB83.  I appreciate you taking the time to contact me on this matter.

I have spoken to Sen. Faulk and he has assured me about some of the questions regarding the multiple definition in statutory law.  The definition would be consistent with the American Academy of Pediatrics and with that assurance I will be glad to support this legislation.

You have my assurance that your concerns and suggestions, as well as those of my other constituents, will be reflected in my decision making process as the Senate continues its work.

 

Randy

I truly hope this bill passes quickly, and that other states follow.