I have an app on my phone that is a calendar of blogging/journaling prompts. Today's didn't resonate with me, so I started glancing through the screens. Then, one topic reached out and grabbed my by the hair and said "choose me!"
Ok, not really (my hair is up today) but that's how it felt.
"What are the top sources of stress in your life? What can you do to mitigate them?"
Last night was a rough night for me. I was tired. The previous two nights Sophie was awake late. I don't function well on 5 hours of sleep, much less two nights in a row. Both my husband and Emma were traveling, so there was no one to take over for a few minutes. I had crammed so many errands and chores into the few hours between work and bedtime that I was exhausted anyway. Then add 2 1/2 year old defiance, and potty training, and the oppressive heat, and worry about Sophie's rash. I was at my limit.
It was one of those nights that made me wish I liked alcohol. I picked up a pizza for dinner, blew off my to do list, and let her watch Curious George while I laid on the couch and read after her bath. We were both asleep before 11.
I usually feel like I juggle things pretty well, but then it all seems to catch up to me at once. I'm lucky that my job isn't a source of stress for me, like it is for so many people. I enjoy what I do. There are stressful moments, of course, but it's not a constant or even frequent thing. My stress is after work - do I stop for groceries before picking up Sophie, making me late picking her up, or get her first and then try to shop with a two year old? Then there is dinner, and clean up, and bath time. Dogs to feed and walk. Spending time with Emma (not a "chore" by any means, of course). I hate the state of our house right now, but I feel like I'm fighting that battle alone and I just don't have any steam left in me. I keep up with the laundry (mostly). I keep the dishes washed. Garbage gets taken out regularly. I clean the toilets. I vacuum. But OMG the clutter. I get stressed being in the house with it, honestly. I hate clutter. But I just don't know what to do about it.
I need some kind of system, a new routine. Obviously what I'm doing now isn't working for me. When Emma is at home this summer, I leave a list of 2-3 chores for her to do each day around the house that help me tremendously. I don't think she even knows how much it helps keep me sane, and how much I appreicate it. I tell her, but she can't possibly fathom how much I mean it. She goes back to school soon, though. I won't have that extra help then.
Something has to change. My current system of after work errands and cleaning on weekends is getting to me. And my husband is home on weekends and we try to do family things then, too. There just aren't enough hours in the day! I've tried Flylady - I may try it again, but honestly it isn't quite right for us. If I didn't work outside the home, it would be perfect. I don't even know where to begin.