I did something unusual today. I spend at least five full minutes styling my hair. I know, that doesn't sound like much. But when you consider that my usual rotation of hair styles take approximately 30 seconds each, it's a lot.
I received compliments throughout the day. Several people told me it looked nice. I even used hairspray!
For some reason, though, I was self-conscious all day. I was afraid that the pieces would come unpinned without my knowledge and look terrible. I was afraid that it looked like I had tried too hard. I was afraid I looked ridiculous.
Why do I do this to myself? Why do I second (or third, or fourth) guess myself when I try something new? No matter what I project on the outside, on the inside I still feel like the girl from my childhood. Unsure, insecure, teased for being different, outright bullied. That girl is a scar imprinted on my soul, clouding my view of myself and my world.
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