Twelve

Strong

Stubborn

Sure of herself

Precious little girl growing up too fast

I remember her as a small child, playing dress-up. Princess one minute, rock star the next. Dorothy in sparkly red shoes.

Singing, dancing to the music of her soul.

Fascinated by life. Captivated and captivating.

She once snuggled and slept on my chest just as her baby sister now sleeps. She still likes to snuggle, just don't tell her friends.

Her world is still black and white. There is no gray area. A behaviour is good or bad. A person is good or bad. She will accept you and love you, or cut ties and never look back.

Our first baby girl, the sole light of our lives for so long.

When did you grow so tall?

When did you get so worldly?

Yesterday you were collapsed in sleep in satin princess jammies, looking at a car magazine. Today you are reading Twilight and discussing the hotness of Taylor Lautner with your new BFF.

I want a pause button. I want a rewind button.

But most of all, I want you to continue to grow into this amazing young lady I see emerging.

Baby love

The smell of lavender

Cool floor

Soft cotton rugs

Blinds closed - dim room

Poetry on the wall

Flowers everywhere

Tiny dresses hanging in rows

Peace

Relax

Chubby little cheeks

Bright blue eyes

Soft fair skin

Softly curling whispy red hair

Teeny, tiny toenails

Gigantic gummy grin

Smile that lights up her whole face

Baby kisses

Belly laughs

Happy chuckles

Cuddles

Sleepily snuggling into my chest

Warning: Obects in windshield are closer than they appear

I have had the worst best luck the past few weeks while commuting to and from work. Seriously - I called my husband last night on my way home and asked him what I could have done to set all of this off! Luckily I have not been hurt (yet) but each time has been such a close call!

It all started several weeks ago. I had dropped the girls off at the babysitter's house and was almost back to the interstate. I was on a very busy five lane highway with TONS of semi traffic. Imagine combining the best retail/restaurant area on this side of the city, two major travel centers, a hospital, and so much just 'in general" traffic and and interstate ramp or four and you can imagine where I was. There was a pickup truck up ahead of me that was loaded down like someone was moving. All of a sudden, a metal shelving unit (the kind sold for workshops and garages) comes flying off the truck, and into the air straight at my car. I brake, and it crashes to the road several feet in front of me. I slam on brakes (miraculously I wasn't rear-ended) and close my eyes. I stop LITERALLY an inch from the metal. The truck is way ahead at this point, at the traffic light. I start honking my horn like crazy (like that's effective. My horn has small-car syndrome. It sounds like a kids' toy.) The driver sees what happened, and backs up and removes his shelves from in front of my car. Also the police car in the parking lot next to the street saw what happened - thankfully for me, because he blocked traffic so I was able to back up and go around and get to work. Not so thankfully for the pickup driver, who was detained on the side of the road.

Then, a few weeks later, I was driving down the interstate headed home from work. Rush hour, lots of traffic. We weren't quite to the first backup spot yet, so traffic was actually moving at normal speed. There was a car in front of me, and a truck pulling a trailer in front of that car. All of a sudden, guess what happens... a 4 ft by 4 ft piece of what I thought was glass went flying up into the air.... and then started plummeting. Straight at ME. I had flashes of what a plate of glass could do at that speed/distance. I panicked. Hard. The car in front of me swerved onto the shoulder, but by that time the sheet of glass was crashing to the highway. I also went to the shoulder, but ended up driving over part of it. Thankful again for brakes on cars - I was able to slow just enough that it hit right in front of my car. And it turned out to be plexiglass, not actual glass, thank goodness. It didn't shatter like glass would. Also very lucky I wasn't rear-ended.

Then last night - guess what happened.

We had thunderstorms and heavy rain yesterday afternoon, so traffic was moving slowly. After passing the usual slowdowns, though, the rain had stopped and traffic was moving along at a decent speed (most of us). There was one of the big trucks, like the ones ulitlites use, and construction people, and the city street furniture/branches/whatever-is-out-but-not-garbage pickup services use, in the lane next to me but a little ahead. He was speeding. Really speeding. I noticed something that looked like a hammer up in the sky, and thought "that's odd." Then it started to fall... quickly. It was a freaking PUSH BROOM. Seriously - something else flying off a truck in front of me. Again - very lucky. It landed in the lane next to me (RIGHT next to me) and there wasn't a car in that spot. Push brooms bounce really far, too, by the way. The driver never saw what happened. He was going so fast I couldn't even see him after about 30 seconds.

I wonder if I should start telecommuting... this driving thing is getting scary.

My hair is bipolar

I am baffled.

Mystified.

Confused.

Surprised.

I have no idea what is going on with my hair. My entire life, it has been the same: a light red with the occasional darker red or blond strand in the mix, fine, and very very very straight.

Seriously straight.

Curling-irons-are-useless, couldn't-even-perm-it straight.

Lately, though, I've noticed something interesting. The new hairs that grow at the top of my head and around my face... are curly. And "platinum." (Shh, don't spoil my delusion.)

This is the weirdest thing! Is it hormonal changes from childbirth? Is it age? (Remember- don't spoil the delusion. Of course it's not age.) Maybe it's all the failed perms from my preteen years finally "taking."

It sure does make a difference in styling my hair. Well, if I DID really style my hair more than either putting it up, pulling it back in a clip, or leaving it down until it bugged me too much and I put it up.

Instead of everything staying smooth and flat, I have these weird frizzy flyaways that puff out from ear to ear across my head. I had to unclog my hairspray bottle (I think it had been a year or more since I last used it...) and tried to hold them down that way. It didn't work, and I could smell the stuff all day long. I can't use heavy styling products because my hair is too fine and thin (think baby hair but longer) to support them. If I even knew HOW to use the products.

So what do I do? I keep removing whatever "platinum" strands I can see but apparently there are more on top of my head, judging from my mom's "oh my" and giggle last time she cut my hair. Good thing I'm tall - no one else can see those!

If only I could get the fluffy strands under control.

"Women with lower IQ more likely to pursue rich men"

I heard about this article on my way to work this morning. Apparently it is causing quite the controversy! A study from University of Michigan found that women with lower IQs are more attracted to rich men than women with higher IQs.

Here is the full text:

A new study from the Michigan University has found that women with lower IQ are more likely to be attracted to rich men than their smarter counterparts, reported UK's Daily Mail.

The findings suggest that contrary to popular belief, there's more to the 'gold digger' phenomenon than pure greed. Researchers are now suggesting that it could be seen as an "instinctive urge to guarantee a secure financial future for any potential children."

Lead author of the study, Dr Christine Stanik, of Michigan University, says it is "only natural" for women with limited education and career prospects to pursue men who are able to provide financial stability.

‘In ancient times, women evolved an attraction to men with wealth because they knew such a mate could improve the chances of their offspring’s survival,’ said Stanik.

‘It is a very strong gut feeling that is hard to shake off, especially when a woman does not have her own career which would give her financial independence.’

So next time you feel like indulging in an episode of Girls of the Playboy Mansion, don't give yourself a hard time. Remember, it's not only mindless reality TV you are watching -- but true Darwinism at work.

Hmm.

One of the radio show hosts (a woman) was outraged and felt this study demeaned women. She is getting married next month but has a standard for the men she would date - they had to not so much be successful or wealthy NOW, but have the drive and ambition to get there.

I kind of see the truth in it, though. The article doesn't contradict women seeking men with ambition. Smart women DO gravitate toward men who are more their equals. I see this article applying more so to women like Lorelie in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." Pretty, not terribly smart, places a higher value on money than anything else. She wants to marry a rich man, one who can buy her diamonds and take care of her every material desire.

Women with higher IQs are the ones who go to college, have successful careers, have other interests. They can provide for themselves and don't need a man to fill that need. They have other needs. If you'll notice, the article makes no mention of ambition, drive, or personal success. Wealth is the only attribute considered. This could mean a now-grown trust fund kid "finding himself" while living off his family's name and fortune. It could explain the whole Anna Nicole phenomenon - women going for the rich old men and gaining (or fighting surviving children for) an inheritance.

No, the study finding itself doesn't offend me at all. I know where I stand. I love my husband dearly and would be devastated if anything ever happened to him or to our marriage, but in the end, I know I could take care of myself.