Subtext

I wore a sleeveless top to work today.

We live in the South, and it's hot and humid. Temperatures are already in the mid-80s every day. It's just plain hot.

So, I wore a sleeveless top.

I examined myself in the mirror. Do my boobs look to big? Does my belly look big? My dress pants aren't very forgiving, either. I'm a little bit round in the middle. Is it really okay to wear this to work? Should I put on a longer top that covers my stomach and butt? But it's really hot, I'd be roasting. What about my arms? They're not toned at all. I have a bruise from a rambunctious dog.

Do I look fat in this outfit?

But then -

Screw it. I'm NOT skinny like I used to be, years ago before birthing babies and age making my metabolism slow down. I have boobs, a belly, and a butt. I'm human.

So much subtext goes into dressing ourselves each morning. We have to look professional (or at least presentable) to be taken seriously, or at the very least avoid the "Oh my, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good" well-meaning if backhanded remarks. We can't show too much skin, because heaven forbid we acknowledge that we have arms and legs and middles. Every inch of our bodies are scrutinized for criticism - too much makeup? Not enough? Every hair in place? But not too overdone? Clothing is perfect, even though we might be bloated that day? Shoes are pretty? But not too high, because apparently heel height has correlation with promiscuity. What about accessories? Can't be too flashy, because that's just showing off.

I wore the sleeveless top to work today.