Millie love

Last weekend, we added a new pet to the family. Sophie is now the owner of Millie, a red female betta fish.

Millie lives in Sophie's room, high enough to be out of reach. Soph LOVES to feed Millie, and Millie is happy to show off. Twice a day, I take the lid off the bowl and Millie swims to the top. Sophie drops the food pellets in one by one, and laughs delightfully as Millie ears them. She presses her nose against the side and watches the fish swim around. "She's so cool!" "She's awesome!" "Millie is so much fun!" I love seeing the joy she is getting from the experience of having a pet of her very own.


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35

The year I was turning 30, I found a tiny line under my eye. I waged war, calling my Mary Kay representative and ordering the anti-aging cleanser and moisturizer and eye cream. I used them religiously - for a week or so. I didn't like the way the eye cream felt on my face.

Today, I turn 35. A lot has changed. I don't care so much about that tiny line. To be honest, I don't even look for it any more. I haven't "given up" but some things don't matter any more. My skin is still oily. I have weird hairs that come out of strange places (my throat? WTF, biology?). I wear less makeup. I still pluck out random white hairs but I no longer look for them. Not frequently, anyway. I've learned to let go. Not let myself go, but let go of the little things that don't matter. Will my family think less of me if I have tiny lines around my eyes? Will my friends stop being my friends if I have shiny skin?

No.

At thirty, I had lots of anxiety about my age. At 35, I have peace.

My problem with Miley (and it isn't what you think)

Whether it was a symptom of a Britney-style meltdown, or a brilliant marketing strategy, Miley Cyrus has everyone talking about  her again. And yes, her VMA performance was outlandish, gross (that tongue! Ew!) and hard to watch. But one thing I've noticed with that performance and her latest two videos is lacking: originality. Everything she does lately is a copy of someone else.

First, there's the video for the song from the VMAs, We Can't Stop. The outfit, hair cut and color, the bright red lips - they scream "Gwen Stefani." Even the giant dancing bears have been done before, too many times to link here.

Then, there's the live performance itself. Her outfit, or lack of one, was heavily criticized. Instead of being her own idea, though, it was a direct reflection on the Blurred Lines video. (Note: This links to the second-released video, where the models have actual clothing on. In the original video I didn't link here, the women are all wearing only nude colored thongs and heels.) Even the infamous foam finger is from his video. Sure, she added her own raunchy twist with her dancing, but nothing she did was new.

Then, yesterday I saw her new video for Wrecking Ball. This could actually have been a good song. Almost. But I couldn't get past the "I've seen this before" feeling. Remember Alanis Morissette? Her Head Over Feet video from 18 years ago (eighteen???!!!) was eerily similar - close up on the face, the tears. Alanis has also already done the naked in a video thing - in Thank You.

Miley, I know you are desperate to stay relevant. I understand you are trying out different personalities to find yourself. But please, find your own style. Get your own artistic ideas. Stop copying artists who are still around and making (good) music.

Pretty please?

Lemony quinoa & squash

I love quinoa. Seriously, I could eat it every single day and be happy.

Yesterday I made this dish for workday lunches. It. Is. Delicious.

First, I started one cup of rinsed quinoa cooking in two cups chicken broth. While it cooked, I chopped a zucchini and a biggish yellow squash into bite-sized pieces. I sautéed them in some Wildtree Zesty Lemon grapeseed oil, and a little garlic powder, black pepper, and parsley.

When everything was finished, I stirred the quinoa into the squash. That's it, easy peasy!


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Spider

Spider
In my car
Crawling across my hand
As I was driving!!!
Hit the spider
Killed it instantly
Hurt myself
I did just slap my own hand
Miraculously, no car crash
Creepy-crawly feeling
Itchy all over
Imagination overdrive
I can't believe this happened again!


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When I get bigger...

Sophie's new favorite phrase is "when I get bigger" followed by a question. Many times she's asking if she can do something she can't do yet, like drive, drink tea, drink coffee, use a big toothbrush, things like that.

But I've also noticed she also wants reassurance, too. "When I get bigger, can I still play Pollies?" "When I'm bigger, will I still have Bunny?" "When I'm bigger can I still snuggle you?"

While she's excited about the idea of growing up, part of her is apprehensive. She doesn't want things to change too much. Our job is to reassure her. Yes, one day she will drive, and drink tea, and use a grown-up toothbrush. And yes, she can have Bunny and snuggle me for as long as she wants.



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Life really sucks sometimes. We have people we love very much, but for too many reasons we don't get to see often. We send letters and Christmas cards. We occasionally speak on the phone. None of it is enough, but its the way things have always been. But we don't really talk about our feelings or exchange sentiments because that's just who we are.

Then, one day it's too late. It's not supposed to be like this it is unexpected. But, it's the reality. Without warning the person you love is not there. You are out of time, out of chances. You can still picture her face, hear her voice, feel her hug on your body as if it was yesterday instead of too long ago. It doesn't seem possible that you'll never see, hear, feel her again.

Learn from this. Tell your loved ones you love them. Make time. Write more. Call often. Make your feelings known. Because hurt combined with regret is even worse.

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Defending breastfeeding

This week is World Breastfeeding Week. First, let me say that while I fully, completely support breastfeeding, I am not a lactivist. As long as your baby is healthy and nourished, I don't care if you feed formula or breast milk, or a combination of the two. I understand that not everyone can nurse their baby, or pump enough milk to meet the baby's needs. There is no reason at all to judge a mother for feeding her baby, either with breast or bottle. This, and any other post I write about breastfeeding, is not an anti-formula post.

There. Now, back to the good stuff.

I read and shared this post on Facebook yesterday. It is undoubtedly the best post about nursing in public that I've ever read. And surprisingly, it was written by a man. But he nails it. First, there is this opening:

Grow up, and stop being a child.  Stop being a stupid, churlish, simpering, nimrod, and accept the fact that women feed babies with their boobies.

And this:

Because, you do realize, that you are asking mothers NOT to feed their babies, don’t you? Which is ironic, because you are probably the same person who would also call for a woman’s summary execution if she let her child go hungry.

And definitely this:

Ohhhhh … It makes you uncomfortable.  It makes you … uncomfortable.  Because you are the one exposing a part of your body, that has been sexualized and vilified (insanely, at the same time), in a public area to provide sustenance for your offspring.  Because you are the one summoning the courage to get over the stigmas and social mores that scream at you not to do it, even though your baby is crying from hunger.

And all the paragraphs in between. Seriously, read his post. 

Coincidentally, today was a nurse-in at a local Chick-fil-a restaurant. Yesterday a mother nursing her baby was (illegally) asked to stop because another patron complained about the fact that her children could see.

First I'd like to thank the Academy.... Sorry, wrong opening.

What an honor! I came back from vacation to an award!

First of all, I love you, Abby T. Writer. You make me laugh and I adore the way your mind works. Thank you so much for the award! Everyone else - go read her blog. Now. You can come back to this later. She's great.

Now, the details of this award:

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website/blog.
2. Announce your win with a post. Make sure to post a link back to me as a ‘thank you’ for the nomination.
3. Present up to 15 awards to deserving bloggers.
4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you have linked them in the post.
5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

One and two - check and check. Easy peasy.

Award others - Ok here goes! (Numerical order does NOT equal ranking - I just like to keep things neat(ish).)
1. Depression Cookies Blog of author and all-around great lady Tia Bach, author of Depression Cookies and Chasing Memories.
2. View From Down Here Blog by Nain, lawyer, writer, wife, mom of an adorable baby girl. And owner of a shiny new car!
3. Anjali Enjeti Anjali should win an award for most fun name to say, ever. She is another author and blogger, and creator of the wonderful Summer Writing Prompts for Kids (and sometimes adults) that I am in love with. Her most recent post has some fabulous photos from London.
4. MommaSachs This is the blog of a friend of mine, who needs to blog more! Hint, hint.

There are others, but I'm too tired to link them all. But - check out my blogroll list on the right. Visit those blogs.

Ok, seven interesting things. Hm.
This is always the hardest part for me.

1. I'm terrified of heights but not flying.

2. I HATE tomatoes. Hate with a fiery passion. They are so gross and smelly and slimy and disgusting.

Gag.

3. I drink too much caffeine.

Yum!

4. I can't always fall asleep at night.
5. I will forever deny any correlation there.
6. I read a LOT.
7. I adore beautiful high heels and am quite sad that I can't wear them like I used to.

Drool

Another episode of Sophie Says

Sophie spots a seashell thermometer that I've had since I was a kid. "I need that sheshell for my collection!" (I didn't know she had a collection.) "No, sweetie, it's mine." "We can share it, in my room."
That's not how it works, but nice try kiddo.

***
Sitting next to me, taking off her sandals. "My toes are stinky! Smell them, mama!"

***

Tuesday, we went to Garden of the Gods. There is a sign with the park rules, including no alcohol. We are joking about bringing a beer in the car and who would drink it before getting out.
Me: I don't like beer.
Cousin's wife: I don't like American beer.
Sophie: Well, I do!

***

Singing: "Tinkerbell, Tinkerbell, tingle all da way... E I E I O"

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Our trip, in a nutshell

First view of the mountains

Firetruck!

Tired girls

Having fun

Very tired

Look at that view!

And that one!

And that sky!

Playing together

Fun with friends

Feeding a wild(ish) chipmunk!

In the mountains

They almost don't look real!

Moonrise

Family time

Wildlife!

Holding up the rock

Playing in the dirt

Last view of the skyline

Heading home

And we're off!

Vacation time. Family reunion across the country. First flight for Little Bit. Both girls super excited!







More later :)

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Doing my job

Chocolate ice cream = safe :)

I found this blog post through Pinterest today. I was so touched while reading it. I feel a
lot of the same emotions - worry about hidden ingredients in foods, frustration at being forced into the Bad Cop role when it comes to cake, ice creams, cupcakes, drinks, and countless foods and treats. I feel the stress over party invitations and holidays like Halloween and Easter.

But then I feel incredibly guilty. Sophie's allergy to food coloring isn't as severe as the author's son. Eating an unsafe food (or using the fun soaps and bubble baths) cause a rash, not anaphylaxis. I don't have to worry about someone who ate a Snickers bar holding her hand and causing her to have a life-threatening reaction. We are very lucky that way.

However, I still don't know that it won't happen someday. Everything I've been told by professionals, everything I've found in my own research, tells me that since she does have the reaction she does it's
very possible that "the next time" could be that dangerous. And we never know which time is that "next time." It could be literally the next time she is given a lollipop by a bank teller when I'm distracted, or it could be a year from now, or it could be never (my ideal, obviously). There just is no way to know so we have to act like it is literally the very next time. Read every label. Be prepared with a stash of safe candy. Carry dye-free Benadryl. Pack all of her dye-free  medications in case she gets sick while we're away and I can't easily find dye-free versions of what she needs.

And like the mother who wrote that post, I feel so much like I'm judged for being "That Mom" when I say no she can't have just one piece of candy. She can't have a cupcake at the party. She can't drink the fruit punch. She can't have any macaroni and cheese. I'm not being a Sanctimommy, I'm keeping her safe. That's my job.

Library dream

Author and journalist Anjali Enjeti has a series of summer writing prompts geared toward encouraging kids to write. I find that adults can use them, too. This is where today's post comes from.

If you were a librarian, what types of books would you purchase for the library and why? What kinds of books do you think kids need to read more of?

I love this. As soon as I read the post my mind was imagining all the possibilities. First, though, I'd probably anger some library purists: I'd ditch the Dewey Decimal System and arrange the books more like a bookstore. I don't like all fiction shelved together - sometimes I want classics, sometimes I want brain candy, sometimes a mystery, but I don't want to search through all of them every time.

Here is my must-have list for a library, though:

First, I'd have a widely varied children's section. Infant and toddler books, preschoolers, elementary schoolers, and older kids would have their own sections. I would include books from many countries and cultures. Kids of all ages could learn about life all around the planet and across our country.  There would be books about animals and dinosaurs and plants and space. There would be long-established classics and new classics. There would be cozy reading nooks and storytime. 

My library would have a huge reference section with various dictionaries, thesauruses, and encyclopedias to expand vocabularies and minds. The religion section would have texts from all the major religions of the world so patrons could read for themselves and find their own truths. I'd host lectures by different religious leaders in the community to discuss the texts. There would be newspapers from the community, the state, the nation's major cities, and major newspapers from around the world. Everyone, but especially the children, need to know that we are not isolated, and know about events happening across the globe.

Nonfiction would be fun, and not just boring dusty shelves of travel guides and cookbooks. Shelves will be filled with biographies from influential people. People in the news and people in our history. Political leaders, religious leaders, activists, and pacifists from different eras and places. The travel guides would still be there, along with a huge map of the planet so readers could see exactly where they are reading about and how the location relates to us. Cookbooks would cover many cuisines. There would be sections for all kinds of improvement and interests.

And fiction - fiction would be an oasis. A place to escape, to learn through stories, to awaken your dreams. Classics. Mysteries. Westerns. Chick lit. Romance. Adventures. Stories of strong women and strong men. If the nonfiction section teaches you how to achieve your dreams, the fiction section breathes your dreams into existence.

Where is the truth?

This quote is the day's writing prompt from a blog I follow:

“Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.” ~ Wallace Stevens

First reading? I thought "huh?" But then I realized what it meant.

Have you ever had an argument where both parties are so passionately arguing and neither one can really hear and understand what the other person is saying? The words, phrases, and inflection gets in the way and we latch onto that, fighting back and acting defensively. We let past hurts affect today's argument, and read more into what we are hearing. Nothing is accomplished. Nothing is resolved. The only result is pain, anger, and exasperation.

But imagine if you took a walk to cool off. Around a lake would be wonderful, but around the neighborhood would suffice. Relax. Breathe deep. Lose the tension. Really think about the other person's point of view.  Open your mind to other possibilities.

Maybe then the truth will appear.

And the truth isn't necessarily that you are right, or that you are wrong, or even that there IS a right or wrong. Life isn't that simple, and there are more than fifty shades of grey between black and white.