Three!

Today, Miss Sophie turned three.

Three!

She's growing so quickly, and looks more like little girl now than toddler. She is so funny and imaginative, and a bit scrappy, I've noticed. I don't know if it's just her personality, or a defense mechanism from being the littlest in the family. Either way, it's hilarious.

Current favorites (in no particular order):

Curious George
Hello Kitty
Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood
bedtime stories
blocks
baby dolls
stickers
crayons and coloring
spinning in circles
quacking (must be a little kid thing...)
chocolate milk
ice
spaghetti
pancakes
bacon
chicken nuggets
dinosaur anything
red
trains
airplanes
cows and horses
visiting the zoo
her pink boots
gymnastics
her friends
her family
our dogs
Bunny
singing and dancing

It's a matter of perspective

A small business owner, a pastry chef, was taking a selection of pies to an event to sell & promote his business. A random guy on the street approached, and wanted free samples from the chef. The chef informed the man he could gladly have a pie, if he paid for it. He couldn't afford to give away his product!

***************

An impoverished, hungry man was on the street & spotted a man with a huge load of pies. He was embarrassed at his situation, but his empty stomach gave him courage. He approached the man and asked for a taste of a pie, such a simple pleasure that had been denied to him. The man with the pies was very offended and refused to give up any portion without payment.

*********

Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the pieman, "Let me taste your wares."
Said the pieman to Simple Simon, "Show me first your penny."
Said Simple Simon to the pieman, "Indeed I have not any."




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Organized?

Maybe it's just because January is the month of resolutions, and many people want to get more organized. Maybe it's a sign from the universe.
Maybe it's just coincidence...
But first I read a post from a friend on Facebook that she's power-organizing her house today and I commented that I would love to have a chance to do that. Seriously, I wish I could take a few days off from work, take Sophie to daycare, and clean like crazy. I hate my house right now.
Then, I chose today's date in this app and the prompt is "Do you think of yourself as an organized person? What do you do to organize your life?"

Umm...
I PLAN on organizing my life. I WANT to organize my life. I'd love to have it all together, to know where everything is and have a place for everything. I even have a board on Pinterest dedicated to that very thing. But three things are missing from my plan: time, energy, and cooperation. I need everyone on board with this plan, and so far while I get agreement on the idea of a clean, organized house, the actual participation is lacking.
So, to answer the question, I do like to think of myself as an organized person, although one living in a state of chaos. Maybe someday soon I'll actually use the ideas I've collected to accomplish something.

I have no title for this.

I've mentioned my high school best friend before. He died two years ago.
Yesterday I learned that his grandmother is in a nursing home. He lived with her when we were friends, until he found his birth father and moved to Alabama to try living with him and his wife and other children (my friend had a complicated childhood). I found this out because his grandmother's roomate is her sister-in-law, a wonderful lady who was like a grandmother to me growing up. I always claimed three sets of grandparents because of this woman and her husband.

I haven't seen his grandmother in many years, even though my friend and I had kept in touch sporadically over the years. I didn't see her at his funeral, but it had been so many years since I'd seen his family that the only people I recognized were his mother and his wife. For some reason, knowing his grandmother is in a nursing home makes me miss him more. It would be so nice to be able to call or, more realistically, Facebook message or text him to talk about this. Maybe even visit.

I don't even know where I'm going with these thoughts, or why I'm writing them here. But this has been on my mind since yesterday. Even though we weren't close any more, I still felt better knowing he was around. I learned a long time ago that I couldn't save him - believe me I tried when we were younger- and that ultimitely he had to save himself. But why didn't I put more effort into our friendship when he moved back here? I had his phone number, I knew where he worked. I have no idea. We couldn't have gone back to the same kind of friendship, but a new kind with our families and get-togethers and who knows what.

Or maybe not. Years had passed, and we were different people. But I'll never know. I still wish I could talk to him, though. It's a strange feeling to remember that he's not out there somewhere living his life.

New on my playlist

I am really loving this. A duet by my favorite rock couple, singing my favorite Bush song. Both very talented people, and they sing well together. And their sweet smiles and kiss at the end makes me smiley.

Doubt

I'm being too hard on myself today. As I told friends yesterday, my inner critic is a bitch and I hate her. Yesterday, she was silent. The words flowed from my brain to my keyboard like magic. Everything was wonderful. I was excited.

Today, she's back. She asks me what I think I'm trying to do, why anyone would want to read anything I write. I'm second-guessing like crazy - the big idea that inspired my story to continue and just might be the big plot line that drives the whole thing now seems like an exercise in futility.

I keep telling myself that the first draft is just that - first draft. I don't and can't produce perfection the first try. I compare the words on my screen to books I'm reading and cringe at the comparison. My logical side knows that all the published books I read had many drafts and revisions, but my inner self-doubt tells me I'll never good enough.

I hate my inner critic. But I have no idea how to make her go away.

Does everyone who writes feel like this? What does it take to be confident? How does one silence the inner doubt?

Boheme, interrupted

Rent is one of my favorite movies ever. I have the soundtrack and listen to it almost every day on my way home from work. I love it. My favorite song from the movie, like many others, is La Vie Boheme (click for the video). Since I have a longish commute, I tend to ponder different things. For instance, what draws me to this song so strongly?

Finally, it hit me. In another life, if I was braver and more free, that could have been me. I would have loved living in New York City, using my creativity, surrounding myself with friends who are also creative. I could have fit right in with the arty world. Sure, in the movie they don't make lots of money, but the freedom they enjoy is incredible. Freedom to create what they want, perform how they want, love who they want, make friends with who they want. No judgements, just love and acceptance.

Not that I don't love my life now - but a different version of me... That could have been my dream.

Something new

On my way to work this morning, I had an idea for a blog post. Then I thought about making a series of posts. Then I realized I had enough for an entirely seperate blog like this.

And so, Letters to my Daughters was born.

This is not a blog to replace Inspired Life, but a sister blog. It is my hope that my oldest will read this regularly, and when my youngest is old enough that she will read the letters also. Some will be for one or the other, some will be for both. It's a place for me to say to them the things that are hard to say in person.

Conflicted

I'm conflicted about something. I seem to have a contradiction in my brain and can't figure it out.

Lately, I've been reading some silly, cheesy romance novels.  Hello, free Kindle books! But, they're fun, easy reads, take my mind of the stress of the past few months, and I can generally knock one out on my lunch break.  On the other hand, I hate romantic movies. We watched a Hallmark movie today and I couldn't stop rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of it - not to mention the formulaic predictability. But how is that different than the books I've been reading? It's not, I suppose. Although if the ending of the books I read is too over the top cheesy, I get mad and hate the entire book. Like there was one I read, I can't even remember which one by name, where the heroine had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship/engagement. Something major had happened to make her lose trust in men; the ex cheated or something like that. Doesn't matter - she was weeks out of this. She meets the male lead, they go out on a couple dates, are consumed with passion for each other like two hormonal teenagers whose parents are away, and within weeks are engaged to be married.

Seriously? What sane woman would jump into an engagement with that much baggage? What sane man would want her to? Every time the books end with an engagement after mere weeks I get irritated.

But then I feel like a giant hypocrite. Because my husband and I were engaged within weeks, and married four months after we met. But, I'm not a romantical person, so I'm conflicted still.

Then, I think "Forget it." In the end, it's all brain candy.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you all! This is our Christmas card picture.

And just for fun, here are some outtakes.

Almost-three-year-olds don't always cooperate, and the results are hilarious.

Help wanted

Exhausted.
So overwhelmed.
Tense.
Inadequate.
Drained of energy.
Achy.
Frustrated.

I want normal back.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Shufflin'

I saw this on Instagram and thought it would be a fun blog post.
Put your iPod or mp3 player on shuffle, and list the first 20 songs that come up.

1.  Ninja Tuna
2. You Were Meant for Me
3. Maid with the Flaxen Hair
4. Paper Gangsta
5. Sweet Sour
6. Homebrew
7. Are You Satisfied?
8. Walk On
9. Mea Culpa
10. Push It
11. One Song Glory
12. It's Real
13. Seeing Black
14. I Like You so Much Better When You're Naked
15. Love Letter to Japan
16. Bonkers
17. Shampain
18. Know Me
19. Somebody that I Used to Know
20. Home

Christmas wishing

We are having a small Christmas this year. Since I prefer our girls to love the holiday more for the togetherness and family time than the presents, I'm okay with that. But, presents are fun. And daydreaming is fun. So, here is my imaginary Christmas wish list.

Books. I have been doing so much reading lately. Almost all of the books I've read, literally 5-10 a week, have been brain vacations, little escapes. But I have several great books on my Kindle wish list that I can't wait to dig into.
Kindle (amazon) gift cards. See above.
Gift cards to JC Penney and New York & Company. I need new clothes desperately. I have very few casual clothes, and many of my dress clothes are showing their age. I can only do so much in the way of repairs.
The latest Sims 3 expansion packs, and time to play. (Excuse me while I pull my geeky side out of the closet.) I love this game so much.
Dark chocolate. The good kind, not a bar of Hershey's. And Toblerone - although I prefer that in milk. It's the only time I prefer milk chocolate over dark chocolate.
And since I'm dreaming, I'll throw in a really good DSLR camera. And the knowledge to use it.

That's it - my materialistic side's Christmas wish list.

In memory

For the children and their teachers. And for the parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, and friends who have just had their lives shattered.

We went to the zoo again!

This week we got a postcard in the mail from the zoo, telling us that Santa would be there starting yesterday. Also, with our membership, we could bring guests! So, we went to the zoo with my parents.