Am I becoming my mother?

A recent Daily Mail headline proclaimed that women start to become like their mothers at age 32.

I am 32.

Not that becoming like my mother is a bad thing! I love my mother and we've always had a great relationship. But is it inevitable? This article seems to think so.

Apparently, now that I'm 32, I will start using phrases like "Don't make a face like that or it will stick," worrying more, and watching soaps.

Ummm... Seriously?

Obviously these writers have never met me or my mother! (Well, obviously in the literal sense, but you know what I mean.)  Weird phrases? Nope. I remember my grandmother throwing out the occasional expression like that, but not my mother. Worrying? Well, ok... my mother is a bit of a worrier (I love you Mom but it's true!). I worry about the usual things - bills getting paid, is the sickness of a child just a simple cold or something that needs a pediatrician visit, things like that. Soaps? When I was a kid she watched some, and so I did with her and continued watching one for a while - but it's been years since either of us has viewed a soap. However, I have noticed that we both seem to favor HGTV during the day. Hmm....

Needless to say, this was not a scientific study by any means, but a poll of 1,000 people who admitted they started using phrases and picking up habits from their mothers at this age. I bet their mothers answered poll questions, too. Not to mention this completely ignores the influence of fathers! I think I'm a lot like both my parents.

And you know what? I'd be honored to be thought of as alike to either one of them.


Just a fun addition - this was in the same article: "Meanwhile, earlier this week it emerged that it is after 70 that we are likely to be at our happiest – as long as we enjoy good health, have sufficient income and are not lonely."
Can you say "Duh!" That's true at any age!

Why is it so bad Bachelor Brad and Emily aren't married yet?

Disclaimer: I have never watched an episode of this show. However, I cannot escape coverage of it. Besides, the actual episodes have no bearing on this topic.

A week or so ago, whenever this season of The Bachelor ended, I saw an interview on a morning news program with Brad and Emily. (That is the only  names I know for them, no last names, so that is how I will refer to them.) A clip was shown from the last episode, the one where the host sits down with the couple to see how things stand now, a few months after the filming ended. Emily stated that she did love him and wanted to marry him, but not right now. She has a daughter to consider, the question of location (they live in different states), and her career to think about.

And she was booed.

Seriously, people?? For once, the couple on this show are acting in a mature and responsible manner, taking time to get to know each other without all the other women around, no producers, no cameras, just themselves and their families. They want to work out important things, issues that should be considered before a couple marries. In "real life" they would be applauded - and if they DID rush into marriage after only a few months, you KNOW people would judge and question them. No one would expect it to last.

Another disclaimer - yes, I know I was one of those who married quickly. I've made no secret that my husband and I were married four months after we met. However, I still think we are an exception, not the rule.

There are constant tabloid reports of them breaking up, arguing, "Trouble in Paradise" headlines - but really, why is everyone pushing them to get married NOW? Is it so all the Bachelor-watchers can have a new special episode to watch? Is our entertainment more important than a family's lives??

We (in general) need to get over ourselves, and stop thinking that other people exist purely for our entertainment. The season is over, let their 15 minutes run out, and let them get to know each other and decide for themselves how and when they want to progress.

Girl time

Today, my husband left on a business trip, so it's just me and the girls for a few days. We went to church, then grocery shopping, where we picked up a frozen pizza for lunch to enjoy while we watched a movie. It turned into movie day for us - far different than the day of housecleaning I had planned, but so much better!

We spent the afternoon snuggled on the couch, watching the movies, chatting, and laughing together. S has learned how to tickle and had such a good time practicing her new skill on her big sister! They played together quite a bit, too.  Now both are in bed and the house is quiet, but it's an air of happiness and contentment.

The girls miss their Daddy and I miss my husband, but I am thankful for the girl time. One day all too soon E will be all grown up, then S behind her. I am cherishing every bit of time I have with them.

I'm over the MamaDrama

The day I found out I was pregnant with S, I was doing some Googling and found a great website for pregnant families (yes, families. E was very involved with this pregnancy. It was her baby sister growing in there, after all!). BabyCenter can be an excellent resource - each week I received an email with the development of the baby, a drawing of what was going on in there, with explanations of how things were growing and changing. Each Sunday, E and I would cuddle up on the couch and see how her little sister was coming along. I know it taught her more about human biology than any schoolbook ever could.


The site also has many message boards - "birth clubs" (members all have babies born/due in the same month), parents of all ages of kids, and every interest o family situation under the sun. They are also an excellent window into the Mommy Wars.

Seriously - these ladies get so worked up over things! The recent news about recommendations to keep babies rear-facing in car seats longer? Has been a hot topic for several months now. And heaven forbid someone gets excited and posts a cute picture of their child facing forward (legally!) - she gets bashed for pages and called a horrible mother. Feed your baby formula? Use disposable diapers? Oh, the horror! And don't even bring up vaccinations.

I am so over the drama! As long as your children are happy, healthy, and well-cared-for, who cares how you go about it? Do these mothers really think that when they march their little angels to school for the first day of kindergarten the teachers will ask where they slept as infants, if they breastfed or drank formula, if they used cloth diapers or not? No. One. Cares. It's just another way for some to feel superior.  Message signature lines are filled with all kinds of acronyms stating parenting styles. It gets a bit ridiculous sometimes.

Some arguments I CAN get behind (although I stay far away from the drama, just agree in my own head). I do think  Baby Bjorns and similar carriers are evil and should be burned. Multiple studies have shown how bad they are for infants' developing hips and spine. And can you imagine how uncomfortable they must be for the poor babies? But I go on my way, letting S ride along comfortably in our preferred carrier if she isn't walking or riding in the shopping cart (without the snazzy expensive cover).

If you want to know how I feel about diapering, vaccinating, "crying it out" at bedtime, or a multitude of other issues, go ahead and ask! I'll gladly share what works for us. But I won't preach to you. What works wonderfully for our family may be a disaster for yours.

A happy update!

In my post about ending the age limit for breastfeeding in public, I mentioned that I wrote to my State Senator asking for him to support Senate Bill 83. I had actually forgotten about sending the email, and was momentarily confused when I had an email from someone named "Randy" with the bill name in the subject line.

He answered my email!  I honestly wasn't expecting to get a reply at all, and if I did I thought it would probably be a form letter. This was a pleasant surprise.

Here is my original email:

Dear Senator McNally,

I recently learned of Senate Bill 83, proposing to eliminate the wording that limits breastfeeding in public to infants under twelve months of age. I urge you to please vote in support of this bill, and thus in support of breastfeeding mothers and babies all across our state. In our nation, mothers are pressured to wean their babies as soon as they turn one year old, when weaning is not always best. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding along with solid foods to age two and beyond. (http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/) Mothers should feel comfortable in providing the best possible care for their children without fear of repercussions, simply because a date on the calendar has passed. Tennessee can be an example to the rest of the country of how to support nursing mothers and our children!

As a nursing mother whose infant is quickly approaching the one-year mark, I ask you to please publicly support this bill and vote yes when the time comes.
Thank you,

And here is the reply:

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding SB83.  I appreciate you taking the time to contact me on this matter.

I have spoken to Sen. Faulk and he has assured me about some of the questions regarding the multiple definition in statutory law.  The definition would be consistent with the American Academy of Pediatrics and with that assurance I will be glad to support this legislation.

You have my assurance that your concerns and suggestions, as well as those of my other constituents, will be reflected in my decision making process as the Senate continues its work.

 

Randy

I truly hope this bill passes quickly, and that other states follow.

 

 

Watch out for the Uterus Police in Georgia!

Sometimes, blog material just falls right into my lap. This one jumped off my screen and punched me in the face. I was innocently browsing a message board I frequent, and saw a posting titled "What is going on in Georgia?" I don't live in Georgia, but since it shares a border with my state I was curious and opened the post. Then the links given.

And I was sickened by what I read.

State Representative Bobby Franklin has introduced a bill into the legislation that declares Georgia exempt from Roe v Wade and makes termination of pregnancy under ANY circumstances illegal. No exceptions. Ectopic pregnancies? Too bad. Mr Franklin would rather have the mother die. A 13 year old girl gets raped and a pregnancy occurs? Deal with it.

Also, this bill would require EVERY miscarriage to be reported and investigated to prove that it happened naturally. If a doctor cannot determine why a miscarriage occured (and so many have no clear reasons) the mother can be prosecuted for causing the miscarriage.

This is wrong on so many levels!

This is from the National Library of Medicine:
It is estimated that up to half of all fertilized eggs die and are lost (aborted) spontaneously, usually before the woman knows she is pregnant. Among those women who know they are pregnant, the miscarriage rate is about 15-20%. Most miscarriages occur during the first 7 weeks of pregnancy. The rate of miscarriage drops after the baby's heart beat is detected.
The risk for miscarriage is higher in women:

• Older than 35
• Who have had previous miscarriages

So according to Mr Franklin, Every. Single. One. of these miscarriages should be investigated. Grieving parents should be treated like criminals because for some reason, the baby they so desperately wanted did not grow to full term. And just how will these be investigated? Sometimes, the doctors just don't know why a miscarriage occured. Will the Uterus Police (as they are being called) do their own blood tests to make sure the mother didn't take something to cause miscarriage? Use high-tech CSI methods to ensure she didn't stick something into her uterus? Maybe Mr Franklin would prefer monitoring in the homes of every woman of childbearing age to be sure they aren't causing their fetus to die.

Since I don't live in Georgia, I can't write to my state representatives about this insane bill. But if you do, you can make your thoughts known loud and clear! There isn't a great chance of this passing as it stands, but you never know. Women can't risk what little privacy we have left!

Here is the full text of the bill. I highly recommend everyone reads it. http://www.legis.ga.gov/Legislation/20112012/108128.pdf

Still Standing... for what?

E, my almost 13 year old daughter (man that makes me feel old...) has been watching a lot of ABC Family lately. She is obsessed with Gilmore Girls - she'll even randomly start talking about some of the characters while we're out shopping or whatever, thoroughly confusing her father. I call it "visiting Gilmoreworld" when she does that.

Another show she's been watching is Still Standing. I know the original airings ended five years ago, but apparently it has a new life. I'd never seen the show until Tuesday, when she was sick and had to come home from school. After lots of medication and sleep, she was feeling better and we watched the show together.
I wasn't paying close attention, then something caught my attention. The couple has a teenage son, who in this episode was about to begin his senior year of high school. He had taken a trip to Europe and fell in love with an Italian girl. It turned out that she was a con artist, preying on hormonal teen boys to take their money, but that wasn't the part that concerned me. The boy admitted to his father that he had lost his virginity to the girl, and his parents were thrilled. They started treating him differently. The father began including the son in more activities and spending more time with him. They both kept saying he was "a man now" and how proud they were of him. In an arguement about why the girl couldn't come visit, the father said that his senior year he should be free to sleep with as many girls as he wanted, that it was his right as a senior and he would have underclassmen girls throwing themselves at him because he was "a senior."

I did NOT hear any discussion of consequences - no mention of STDs, pregnancy, emotional consequences. No talk about responsibility, possibility of protection failing, love and commitment, or anything you'd expect parents to talk about with their son. This was a girl that he would likely never see again. The son is portrayed as intelligent, yet his parents seem ashamed of his ability and want him to be popular instead.

On the other hand, I wonder how the episode would have been written if it was a DAUGHTER who had been in the same situation? Imagine this: an intelligent teenage girl with good grades who is a star student but not in the popular crowd goes on a trip to Europe and "falls in love" with and sleeps with a boy while there. She is also beginning her senior year. What would the parents have said then? I can almost guarantee it would be something about ruining her future, not giving in to peer pressure, going to college, using protection, and something along the whole "cows and milk" vein. I am sure she wouldn't be encouraged to sleep around school because she is a senior.

That's not the only problem I have with the show, but the rest is pretty common for sitcoms. Dad is immature, Mom is the enforcer, the kids are rude... all unrealistic stereotypes. I am not thrilled with my daughter watching this show now. How in the world did it even stay on the air four years?

Who am I?

I don't know if it's the dreary weather or what, but something today has triggered my introspective button. I occasionally visit this place, but not often. I'm not sure yet if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Overall, I am happy. Maybe more introspection would change that. Maybe it would help me to be TRULY happy. Time will tell.

You know that question that is often asked, "What would you do if money was not an issue?" Or how about this one - "What would you do if you knew you would not fail?" Everyone has their own answers to these questions. I see people around me actually DOING and not simply ANSWERING. I want to be one of those people!

If I did not have to work to help support our family, I would not right now. I honestly do like my job, that isn't the issue at all. In fact, it makes it easy to go in every day, easier to leave my children in the care of others for the day. I am thankful for my job and that I do enjoy it.

However, "real" life gets in the way of "aspired" life. Or INSPIRED life. I want time to write. Time to paint. Time to make jewelry and hair clips. Time to simply CREATE. I want time to cook good food for my family. I want to make salads and desserts and main courses and lots and lots of vegetables.

What would I do if I knew for sure I would not fail? I'd write. I'd write every day. I'd write stories about people I'd want to spend time with. Strong, capable people, kind and loyal and funny. I'd write about the sunshine and the grass and the trees. I'd write about a baby's laughter and love of dance. I'd  write about a fledgling teenager's dreams. I'd write with the windows open and a breeze blowing and the radio playing in the background. I'd write something to entertain the world, and something to change the world.

But most importantly, I would begin.

Ending the age limit for nursing in public? Yes, please!

Currently, Tennessee state law protects mothers breastfeeding in public as long as the baby is 12 months old or younger. There is a new bill proposed by Sen Mike  Faulk of Kingsport, SB 83, that would amend current laws by removing the "12 months or younger" stipulation.

For the first time in my life, I wrote my State Senator asking him to support this bill.

Breastfeeding mothers feel so much pressure to wean our children as soon as they turn one. Some of the pressure is well-meaning, from uninformed or uneducated people who just don't know any different. Much of the pressure is from people who are "uncomfortable" with the idea of a woman feeding her baby in the way we were created. Some are offended by the sight of a little mouth on a breast.
These same people are okay with advertisements like this or this , but heaven forbid a small (if any) bit of breast tissue be seen while a baby is nursing from it - that would be obscene!

Did you know the United States is the most breastfeeding-unfriendly country in the world? No other nations push their mothers to stop at a year old. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding along with solid foods "up to two years of age and beyond."

From the American Academy of Pediatrics:
Studies on infants provide evidence that breastfeeding can decrease the incidence or severity of conditions such as diarrhea, ear infections and bacterial meningitis. Some studies also suggest that breastfeeding may offer protection against sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), diabetes, obesity and asthma among others.
Research indicates that breastfeeding can reduce a mother's risk of several medical conditions, including ovarian and breast cancer, and possibly a decreased risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis in the postmenopausal period. Increased breastfeeding also has the potential for decreasing annual health costs in the U.S. by $3.6 billion.
Those are not the only reasons why breastfeeding should be protected. From the World Health Organization:
Breast milk is also an important source of energy and nutrients in children 6 to 23 months of age. It can provide one half or more of a child's energy needs between 6 and 12 months of age, and one third of energy needs between 12 and 24 months. Breast milk is also a critical source of energy and nutrients during illness and reduces mortality among children who are malnourished.
Adults who were breastfed as babies often have lower blood pressure and lower cholesterol, as well as lower rates of overweight, obesity and type-2 diabetes.
 
Did you see the last sentence? Lower rates of obesity and type-2 diabetes.

Tennessee has the fifth-highest rate of adult obesity in the nation, and the fourth-highest rate of overweight youths. Fourteen percent of children ages 2-5 are overweight. Scary, right? I'm not saying breastfeeding would cure the problem - overall diet is a big factor as well. But I am sure protected extended breastfeeding would lead to a decrease in the problem. And yes, it is a problem.

So please, write your State Senator and ask him or her to vote in favor of Senate Bill 83! If you do not know who your Senator is, you can find out here by entering your street address and town. All contact information is provided.

I did it, will you?

Teen moms, twentysomething grandparents?

I love to read the UK's Daily Mail website. (I even recently read an article about local blogger Mamapundit!) Today, I read a headline that didn't just catch my attention; it reached out and slapped me on the forehead and yelled "Read me!!"

29-year old to become Britain's youngest grandfather

Wow.

It doesn't seem possible, does it? But it turns out he was 14 when he fathered his daughter, who is now also 14 and 11 weeks pregnant with a baby of her own. Sadly, the article gives the impression he is wanting to add to our already way-too-large world population of people who want to be famous by any means necessary and is milking this for all he can. Neither the father/grandfather or daughter/mother are being identified but thankfully she does plan to return to school after the baby is born.

The article got me thinking, though - what about in our country? I have heard the "friend of a friend of my cousin talked to lady in doctor's waiting room" story about a 26 year old grandmother who had her daughter at 13, who was now 13 and pregnant herself. I found a list of the youngest mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers in the world (not surprised to see repeat names - youngest mothers also later in the grandmother, and sometimes great-grandmother, categories) and found a 29 year old grandmother (in 2007) in Illinois. She had her daughter at age 13, in seventh grade. In the article she says she talked to her daughter about birth control, but when they went to the doctor's office to get it she was already pregnant. Now her 15 year old has a baby.

Last week, I read a posting in the "Parenting Tweens to Teens" forum on Babycenter. The mother posting was asking opinions about putting tweens on Depo-provera. Her daughter had started her period at age 10 and she was, in short, freaking out because she knows 'how teens are these days.' For the most part the other mothers had good advice for her, but some could more easily identify with her side of thinking. I wonder how many of them were teen moms themselves?

I have a preteen (soon to be "teen") of my own. E is in seventh grade and almost 13, and has started her period. Do I want to go out and get her on birth control? No way! She hasn't even had a boyfriend! But am I more aware now of the importance of open communication with her? You bet your life I am.
I am WAY too young to be a grandmother.

Jwoww and jalepenos (Our country is crazy)

Yesterday I heard two things on the news that are just insane. It's crazy enough that either would be considered "news" with everything that is happening in the world, but then I really listened to what the stories were about.

First, there is Jwoww. (I have never watched Jersey Shore, so I don't know what her real name is.) It seems she is suing her ex-boyfriend to stop the sale of some nude photos and have them returned to her. At first, I thought "That's why you NEVER have nude photos taken!" But then I heard more. When the photos were taken, she was under the effects of anesthesia and not even aware! He posed her nude and photographed her. Such a violation!

Then, I heard his 'defense': The pictures would not damage her reputation because she had considered posing for Playboy.

Is he freaking serious?? So, since she "considered" posing for Playboy at one time, his selling of nude photos he took without her consent should be no big deal? What about the fact that if she posed for Playboy, it would be HER CHOICE. Not his. Hopefully the judge will have the common sense to see that.


The next story was about jalapeno peppers. Specifically, a new variety of jalapenos created just for making jalapeno poppers. They are bigger to hold more cheese. Because even though we can't seem to do anything about world hunger, the homeless, unemployment, or health care, we can make sure our restaurants are supplied with bigger peppers for appetizers. And bigger fried food is better, right?

Oh, please.

Tired

Last night I snapped at Emma when she asked me to pour her a glass of tea as I was pouring mine. There really was no reason for me NOT to do it; I had the tea in my hand and was standing in front of the cabinet where glasses are kept. But still, I snapped.

Of course she called me out. "Why are you mad?"

I wasn't mad, though. I apologized (still a bit snappish I'm afraid) and said I was tired. Tired seems to be a common feeling. I snapped because, even though we all worked yesterday (she went to the sitter's house as a helper for the day), since we all came home my husband was sitting down, relaxing and playing a video game. She was laying on my bed watching TV. I fed the dogs, nursed the baby, cooked dinner, fed the baby in her high chair, and all the while I had two dogs following my every step in the kitchen hoping I'd drop a tidbit and Sophie was crying whenever I stepped away because she was tired and in the evenings, all she wants is to be in Mama's arms, and Miss I-just-spent-an-hour-watching-tv wanted me to do something for her that she was perfectly capable of doing herself.

I was tired, and I was getting stressed, and all I wanted to do was sit and rest, relax, and make some more hair clips.

When we finally did sit down to eat all together, I still had to watch Sophie to make sure she didn't give her dinner to the dogs or dump her plate onto the floor or choke. Then it was bathtime and time to get her ready for bed. I wasn't rested yet!

But, I guess that's the way it is for mothers.

Luckily, Sophie fell asleep quickly and the rest of us spent the evening playing a game together until we were too tired to go on and went to bed. We had fun and laughed a lot.

But I have a feeling tonight it will all happen again.

A self-extinguished light

I received news today that a former close friend from my teenage years committed suicide last night. While we were not close as adults, and have only seen each other a few times in the last decade, we were almost inseperable in high school and I considered him one of my very best friends then, like a brother to me. He moved away after graduation, we both changed, and I went on with my life. While my path was anchored in a happy marriage and love, his sadly did not. He made decisions based on what felt good, and sometimes based on what would hurt others, trying to retaliate for or cover up his own pain. He had many issues and needed help.

I know at one point he was getting help, but it never seemed to be enough. I don't think anyone ever stopped caring, but between hiding things from his doctor, lashing out at others, and doing extreme things to get attention, I think so many of us just didn't know what to do with him anymore. Ultimately, he had to want to help himself and no one else could make him get there.

We reconnected again when I was pregnant with Sophie. I was shopping and he worked there. We talked for a long time and he told me about his recent unexpected divorce (his second), how much he loved his kids and how great they were (like any normal healthy dad, complete with pictures), and that he really liked his job, was on a management track, and going back to school. I was very happy for him, and it seemed like he had finally turned his life around and was better.

Ultimately, as with many mental illnesses, it never truly gets better. He needed medication, he needed counseling, he needed to be able to reach out. In our teen years he often reached out by attemting suicide, but in ways it would be unsuccessful. He once called me and took an entire bottle of pills as I listened helplessly on the other end of the phone, miles away. Luckily we were able to get an ambulance to his house in time and he survived. This time, though, it was too definite and too quick. There was no safety net, no one to stop him.
I am heartbroken for his family. His grandmother loved him, his family, his children.... His children were with him when he did it. That is the part I really don't understand. I can't imagine what would have been so bad that he would do such a thing when his children were with him. My heart breaks for them. I truly hope they are given the emotional help they will need so the cycle will end with him.


There is help out there. It seems like no one wants to talk about suicide, but it happens. According to the National Institue of Mental Health, it was the tenth leading cause of death in 2007, and there are 11 attempts for every death that occurs. Clearly, this is an issue that needs to be talked about openly. How many of these people just needed someone to listen, to guide them to the help they needed? Yet it is still a taboo subject for many people. It is treated like either a contagious disease, or like something the sufferor needs to "just get over." It's not that simple!

If you take nothing else from this, at least have some helpline numbers handy. If you see warning signs in someone you know, don't be afraid to share the numbers. Or your ear.

From the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

What Are The Warning Signs For Suicide?

Seek help as soon as possible by contacting a mental health professional or by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
1-800-273-TALK
if you or someone you know exhibits any of the following signs:

• Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself
• Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
• Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person
• Feeling hopeless
• Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities - seemingly without thinking
• Feeling trapped - like there's no way out
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
• Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
• Experiencing dramatic mood changes
• Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

Letter to kid-me from grownup-me

Dear Christine,

Hi.

I'm you - but you from 2010. No, The Jetsons didn't come true. We don't have flying cars and robot maids. Sadly, that part of life is pretty much the same as ever. That's not the point of this, though.

I know you are caught up in the drama that is being a girl in junior high and high school. As you should be. But here are some truths you should know to help you along.

1. Your two best friends who you have been BFFs with since elementary school that you are convinced you'll grow old with? Just like Sex and the City, although it hasn't been invented yet and you wouldn't be allowed to watch it even if it was? You will all lose touch. You will see them at funerals of important-to-you people, chat, say "we need to get together again" but it will never happen. You are all different people now. You will miss them, but you will have new friends who are just as wonderful.

2. The drama at school? It's temporary. Sure, there will be a little  more teasing and picking in high school, but everyone will be busy figuring out who they are and who they want to be. Some may even make friendly overtures to you, but you will be so untrusting after all the years in elementary school and junior high that you won't believe it's genuine. Don't worry, a few years after you graduate this thing called Facebook will be invented and everyone will know how cool you really are ;)

3. Keep dreaming. Never lose your dreams, no matter what. Don't be afraid to have a backup plan, though, because I'll tell you something: your current dreams aren't going to happen. We are not famous, or rich, or traveling the world, or have a PhD in whatever, or CEOs of a company. We are not just now looking to settle down and adopt a child or two and live in our ginormous house in a big city. We got married at 19, during sophomore year of college, had one baby right away, had another when the first was 12, and live in a small house and never have finished a bachelor's degree. But - we are happy. We wouldn't want to change anything about our family. (Although honestly, I wouldn't turn down a ginormous house in a big city.)

4. Sadly, Mema isn't magic. Cherish every moment with her. But your first daughter will have a wonderful, close relationship with her just like we did, and they will be so much alike it's scary. It will make us start to think there's actually something to astrological signs; your daughter will be born 3 days before Mema's birthday. Also, your daughter's first birthday without sharing it with Mema will be very hard for her. Also, you will name your second daughter after Mema. You and your first will agree that when the second is bigger and asks why we gave her the middle name of Inez, it' s such an old lady name, to sit her down and tell her all about the wonderful woman she didn't have a chance to love. And you will both cry when you make that agreement.

5. Don't change majors in college! Trust me on this - you WILL change your mind and go back to your first, and then you will be screwed. Just don't bother, and save yourself so much time and money!

6. Buy stock in Apple right now. Yes, I know you are young and have no idea what I'm talking about, but trust me. Clean out your savings account, buy all you can, and hold on to it for 20 years. You will thank me when you're my age.

7. Finally, and most importantly, love yourself. Respect yourself. Stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You deserve it.

Love,
Christine

ps - take good notes in math and English and keep them - you will have to help your daughter with her homework and won't remember nearly as much as you think you will!

Up in arms over breasts!

W Magazine is publishing a special Family issue, featuring various celebrities and their families.The Daily Mail website has a story about this issue, featuring many of the photographs and snippets of interviews with the celebrities.

One of the photos in the story is of a pregnant Miranda Kerr, the Victoria's Secret model married to Orlando Bloom.
 

The photo is a stunning representation of the pregnant form. (And before we hate on her for not having stretch marks, remember that this is a. in black and white, and b. in a magazine and therefore airbrushed and edited.)

She sounds so sweet and excited in her interview, too, like a first time mother should be.

The comments on the article, though, were just awful!
"Kerr's nipples look like dumper truck starter buttons"

"Has Miranda got stick on nipples? lol"

"The Miranda picture is awful, some things are just plain wrong"
"I'm sorry, but Miranda Kerr just looks cheap and nasty."

 

There are so many more - a few do praise the picture, but many more degrade the picture and Ms Kerr for posing for it. Are we really that prudish and backwards in this world? I just don't have the right words to express how I feel about these comments. Instead of celebrating a woman's body doing what it is made to do, we want it hidden away, covered up, and treated like something contagious or unnatural.

 

And don't even get me started on the comments about Jenna Jameson! According to these people, apparently no one is allowed to have a questionable past and later have children.

 

Why are we so judgmental?

It's sickening to me.