Ending the age limit for nursing in public? Yes, please!

Currently, Tennessee state law protects mothers breastfeeding in public as long as the baby is 12 months old or younger. There is a new bill proposed by Sen Mike  Faulk of Kingsport, SB 83, that would amend current laws by removing the "12 months or younger" stipulation.

For the first time in my life, I wrote my State Senator asking him to support this bill.

Breastfeeding mothers feel so much pressure to wean our children as soon as they turn one. Some of the pressure is well-meaning, from uninformed or uneducated people who just don't know any different. Much of the pressure is from people who are "uncomfortable" with the idea of a woman feeding her baby in the way we were created. Some are offended by the sight of a little mouth on a breast.
These same people are okay with advertisements like this or this , but heaven forbid a small (if any) bit of breast tissue be seen while a baby is nursing from it - that would be obscene!

Did you know the United States is the most breastfeeding-unfriendly country in the world? No other nations push their mothers to stop at a year old. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding along with solid foods "up to two years of age and beyond."

From the American Academy of Pediatrics:
Studies on infants provide evidence that breastfeeding can decrease the incidence or severity of conditions such as diarrhea, ear infections and bacterial meningitis. Some studies also suggest that breastfeeding may offer protection against sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), diabetes, obesity and asthma among others.
Research indicates that breastfeeding can reduce a mother's risk of several medical conditions, including ovarian and breast cancer, and possibly a decreased risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis in the postmenopausal period. Increased breastfeeding also has the potential for decreasing annual health costs in the U.S. by $3.6 billion.
Those are not the only reasons why breastfeeding should be protected. From the World Health Organization:
Breast milk is also an important source of energy and nutrients in children 6 to 23 months of age. It can provide one half or more of a child's energy needs between 6 and 12 months of age, and one third of energy needs between 12 and 24 months. Breast milk is also a critical source of energy and nutrients during illness and reduces mortality among children who are malnourished.
Adults who were breastfed as babies often have lower blood pressure and lower cholesterol, as well as lower rates of overweight, obesity and type-2 diabetes.
 
Did you see the last sentence? Lower rates of obesity and type-2 diabetes.

Tennessee has the fifth-highest rate of adult obesity in the nation, and the fourth-highest rate of overweight youths. Fourteen percent of children ages 2-5 are overweight. Scary, right? I'm not saying breastfeeding would cure the problem - overall diet is a big factor as well. But I am sure protected extended breastfeeding would lead to a decrease in the problem. And yes, it is a problem.

So please, write your State Senator and ask him or her to vote in favor of Senate Bill 83! If you do not know who your Senator is, you can find out here by entering your street address and town. All contact information is provided.

I did it, will you?

Teen moms, twentysomething grandparents?

I love to read the UK's Daily Mail website. (I even recently read an article about local blogger Mamapundit!) Today, I read a headline that didn't just catch my attention; it reached out and slapped me on the forehead and yelled "Read me!!"

29-year old to become Britain's youngest grandfather

Wow.

It doesn't seem possible, does it? But it turns out he was 14 when he fathered his daughter, who is now also 14 and 11 weeks pregnant with a baby of her own. Sadly, the article gives the impression he is wanting to add to our already way-too-large world population of people who want to be famous by any means necessary and is milking this for all he can. Neither the father/grandfather or daughter/mother are being identified but thankfully she does plan to return to school after the baby is born.

The article got me thinking, though - what about in our country? I have heard the "friend of a friend of my cousin talked to lady in doctor's waiting room" story about a 26 year old grandmother who had her daughter at 13, who was now 13 and pregnant herself. I found a list of the youngest mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers in the world (not surprised to see repeat names - youngest mothers also later in the grandmother, and sometimes great-grandmother, categories) and found a 29 year old grandmother (in 2007) in Illinois. She had her daughter at age 13, in seventh grade. In the article she says she talked to her daughter about birth control, but when they went to the doctor's office to get it she was already pregnant. Now her 15 year old has a baby.

Last week, I read a posting in the "Parenting Tweens to Teens" forum on Babycenter. The mother posting was asking opinions about putting tweens on Depo-provera. Her daughter had started her period at age 10 and she was, in short, freaking out because she knows 'how teens are these days.' For the most part the other mothers had good advice for her, but some could more easily identify with her side of thinking. I wonder how many of them were teen moms themselves?

I have a preteen (soon to be "teen") of my own. E is in seventh grade and almost 13, and has started her period. Do I want to go out and get her on birth control? No way! She hasn't even had a boyfriend! But am I more aware now of the importance of open communication with her? You bet your life I am.
I am WAY too young to be a grandmother.

Jwoww and jalepenos (Our country is crazy)

Yesterday I heard two things on the news that are just insane. It's crazy enough that either would be considered "news" with everything that is happening in the world, but then I really listened to what the stories were about.

First, there is Jwoww. (I have never watched Jersey Shore, so I don't know what her real name is.) It seems she is suing her ex-boyfriend to stop the sale of some nude photos and have them returned to her. At first, I thought "That's why you NEVER have nude photos taken!" But then I heard more. When the photos were taken, she was under the effects of anesthesia and not even aware! He posed her nude and photographed her. Such a violation!

Then, I heard his 'defense': The pictures would not damage her reputation because she had considered posing for Playboy.

Is he freaking serious?? So, since she "considered" posing for Playboy at one time, his selling of nude photos he took without her consent should be no big deal? What about the fact that if she posed for Playboy, it would be HER CHOICE. Not his. Hopefully the judge will have the common sense to see that.


The next story was about jalapeno peppers. Specifically, a new variety of jalapenos created just for making jalapeno poppers. They are bigger to hold more cheese. Because even though we can't seem to do anything about world hunger, the homeless, unemployment, or health care, we can make sure our restaurants are supplied with bigger peppers for appetizers. And bigger fried food is better, right?

Oh, please.

Tired

Last night I snapped at Emma when she asked me to pour her a glass of tea as I was pouring mine. There really was no reason for me NOT to do it; I had the tea in my hand and was standing in front of the cabinet where glasses are kept. But still, I snapped.

Of course she called me out. "Why are you mad?"

I wasn't mad, though. I apologized (still a bit snappish I'm afraid) and said I was tired. Tired seems to be a common feeling. I snapped because, even though we all worked yesterday (she went to the sitter's house as a helper for the day), since we all came home my husband was sitting down, relaxing and playing a video game. She was laying on my bed watching TV. I fed the dogs, nursed the baby, cooked dinner, fed the baby in her high chair, and all the while I had two dogs following my every step in the kitchen hoping I'd drop a tidbit and Sophie was crying whenever I stepped away because she was tired and in the evenings, all she wants is to be in Mama's arms, and Miss I-just-spent-an-hour-watching-tv wanted me to do something for her that she was perfectly capable of doing herself.

I was tired, and I was getting stressed, and all I wanted to do was sit and rest, relax, and make some more hair clips.

When we finally did sit down to eat all together, I still had to watch Sophie to make sure she didn't give her dinner to the dogs or dump her plate onto the floor or choke. Then it was bathtime and time to get her ready for bed. I wasn't rested yet!

But, I guess that's the way it is for mothers.

Luckily, Sophie fell asleep quickly and the rest of us spent the evening playing a game together until we were too tired to go on and went to bed. We had fun and laughed a lot.

But I have a feeling tonight it will all happen again.

A self-extinguished light

I received news today that a former close friend from my teenage years committed suicide last night. While we were not close as adults, and have only seen each other a few times in the last decade, we were almost inseperable in high school and I considered him one of my very best friends then, like a brother to me. He moved away after graduation, we both changed, and I went on with my life. While my path was anchored in a happy marriage and love, his sadly did not. He made decisions based on what felt good, and sometimes based on what would hurt others, trying to retaliate for or cover up his own pain. He had many issues and needed help.

I know at one point he was getting help, but it never seemed to be enough. I don't think anyone ever stopped caring, but between hiding things from his doctor, lashing out at others, and doing extreme things to get attention, I think so many of us just didn't know what to do with him anymore. Ultimately, he had to want to help himself and no one else could make him get there.

We reconnected again when I was pregnant with Sophie. I was shopping and he worked there. We talked for a long time and he told me about his recent unexpected divorce (his second), how much he loved his kids and how great they were (like any normal healthy dad, complete with pictures), and that he really liked his job, was on a management track, and going back to school. I was very happy for him, and it seemed like he had finally turned his life around and was better.

Ultimately, as with many mental illnesses, it never truly gets better. He needed medication, he needed counseling, he needed to be able to reach out. In our teen years he often reached out by attemting suicide, but in ways it would be unsuccessful. He once called me and took an entire bottle of pills as I listened helplessly on the other end of the phone, miles away. Luckily we were able to get an ambulance to his house in time and he survived. This time, though, it was too definite and too quick. There was no safety net, no one to stop him.
I am heartbroken for his family. His grandmother loved him, his family, his children.... His children were with him when he did it. That is the part I really don't understand. I can't imagine what would have been so bad that he would do such a thing when his children were with him. My heart breaks for them. I truly hope they are given the emotional help they will need so the cycle will end with him.


There is help out there. It seems like no one wants to talk about suicide, but it happens. According to the National Institue of Mental Health, it was the tenth leading cause of death in 2007, and there are 11 attempts for every death that occurs. Clearly, this is an issue that needs to be talked about openly. How many of these people just needed someone to listen, to guide them to the help they needed? Yet it is still a taboo subject for many people. It is treated like either a contagious disease, or like something the sufferor needs to "just get over." It's not that simple!

If you take nothing else from this, at least have some helpline numbers handy. If you see warning signs in someone you know, don't be afraid to share the numbers. Or your ear.

From the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

What Are The Warning Signs For Suicide?

Seek help as soon as possible by contacting a mental health professional or by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
1-800-273-TALK
if you or someone you know exhibits any of the following signs:

• Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself
• Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
• Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person
• Feeling hopeless
• Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities - seemingly without thinking
• Feeling trapped - like there's no way out
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
• Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
• Experiencing dramatic mood changes
• Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

Letter to kid-me from grownup-me

Dear Christine,

Hi.

I'm you - but you from 2010. No, The Jetsons didn't come true. We don't have flying cars and robot maids. Sadly, that part of life is pretty much the same as ever. That's not the point of this, though.

I know you are caught up in the drama that is being a girl in junior high and high school. As you should be. But here are some truths you should know to help you along.

1. Your two best friends who you have been BFFs with since elementary school that you are convinced you'll grow old with? Just like Sex and the City, although it hasn't been invented yet and you wouldn't be allowed to watch it even if it was? You will all lose touch. You will see them at funerals of important-to-you people, chat, say "we need to get together again" but it will never happen. You are all different people now. You will miss them, but you will have new friends who are just as wonderful.

2. The drama at school? It's temporary. Sure, there will be a little  more teasing and picking in high school, but everyone will be busy figuring out who they are and who they want to be. Some may even make friendly overtures to you, but you will be so untrusting after all the years in elementary school and junior high that you won't believe it's genuine. Don't worry, a few years after you graduate this thing called Facebook will be invented and everyone will know how cool you really are ;)

3. Keep dreaming. Never lose your dreams, no matter what. Don't be afraid to have a backup plan, though, because I'll tell you something: your current dreams aren't going to happen. We are not famous, or rich, or traveling the world, or have a PhD in whatever, or CEOs of a company. We are not just now looking to settle down and adopt a child or two and live in our ginormous house in a big city. We got married at 19, during sophomore year of college, had one baby right away, had another when the first was 12, and live in a small house and never have finished a bachelor's degree. But - we are happy. We wouldn't want to change anything about our family. (Although honestly, I wouldn't turn down a ginormous house in a big city.)

4. Sadly, Mema isn't magic. Cherish every moment with her. But your first daughter will have a wonderful, close relationship with her just like we did, and they will be so much alike it's scary. It will make us start to think there's actually something to astrological signs; your daughter will be born 3 days before Mema's birthday. Also, your daughter's first birthday without sharing it with Mema will be very hard for her. Also, you will name your second daughter after Mema. You and your first will agree that when the second is bigger and asks why we gave her the middle name of Inez, it' s such an old lady name, to sit her down and tell her all about the wonderful woman she didn't have a chance to love. And you will both cry when you make that agreement.

5. Don't change majors in college! Trust me on this - you WILL change your mind and go back to your first, and then you will be screwed. Just don't bother, and save yourself so much time and money!

6. Buy stock in Apple right now. Yes, I know you are young and have no idea what I'm talking about, but trust me. Clean out your savings account, buy all you can, and hold on to it for 20 years. You will thank me when you're my age.

7. Finally, and most importantly, love yourself. Respect yourself. Stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You deserve it.

Love,
Christine

ps - take good notes in math and English and keep them - you will have to help your daughter with her homework and won't remember nearly as much as you think you will!

Up in arms over breasts!

W Magazine is publishing a special Family issue, featuring various celebrities and their families.The Daily Mail website has a story about this issue, featuring many of the photographs and snippets of interviews with the celebrities.

One of the photos in the story is of a pregnant Miranda Kerr, the Victoria's Secret model married to Orlando Bloom.
 

The photo is a stunning representation of the pregnant form. (And before we hate on her for not having stretch marks, remember that this is a. in black and white, and b. in a magazine and therefore airbrushed and edited.)

She sounds so sweet and excited in her interview, too, like a first time mother should be.

The comments on the article, though, were just awful!
"Kerr's nipples look like dumper truck starter buttons"

"Has Miranda got stick on nipples? lol"

"The Miranda picture is awful, some things are just plain wrong"
"I'm sorry, but Miranda Kerr just looks cheap and nasty."

 

There are so many more - a few do praise the picture, but many more degrade the picture and Ms Kerr for posing for it. Are we really that prudish and backwards in this world? I just don't have the right words to express how I feel about these comments. Instead of celebrating a woman's body doing what it is made to do, we want it hidden away, covered up, and treated like something contagious or unnatural.

 

And don't even get me started on the comments about Jenna Jameson! According to these people, apparently no one is allowed to have a questionable past and later have children.

 

Why are we so judgmental?

It's sickening to me.

My little feminist

So last night we had tacos for dinner. We were in the kitchen, lined up at the counter assembling our creations. Chris said something so completely innocently, but that sounded so horrifically DIRTY that I just lost it. I was laughing so hard I couldn't get the sour cream off the spoon onto my food! Emma was right there - inquiring mind and all - so he just said "shut UP!" hoping she wouldn't want an explanation. She pipes up "Don't tell my mom to shut up!" He answers, "she is my wife, I can tell her to shut up if I want to!" Her answer? "Says you."

Let me interject here - this all sounds like we are so mean to each other, but at this point all three of us are laughing - me uncontrollably by this point - and we were joking around. In reality we are much nicer to each other, and would never say these things in seriousness.

After Emma's last remark, he goes on to say how he's the husband and what he says, goes. Emma retorts "This isn't Egypt. You're not the king." The conversation quickly deteriorates into a Bill-Clinton-esque argument: "define castle. Define domain. Prove it's not." I end it there before we go insane (Ok, even more insane) and make sure Emma understands that in reality she DOES have to listen to her Daddy and do what he says, but secretly I am very proud of her.

No man is going to walk all over her when she gets into the dating world. I have a very strong daughter who sees men and women as equals and won't take crap from any future boyfriend or husband!

And on a side note, but still related, before she went to school this morning she asked me to record the Rihanna interview on Good Morning America for her, the one in which she is discussing the abuse by Chris Brown. I have no hesitation allowing her to see that. She needs to hear all about that now, before she starts dating, to help keep her out of that situation when she's older.

The best line from that interview? Rihanna said that she initially went back to him after the beating because she still loved him. Then she realized what it was saying to young girls in that situation. She told Diane Sawyer "F love. Step back and look at the situation as a third party and see it for what it is." I LOVE that! I wish more women could do that. If he TRULY loved you, there wouldn't BE a "situation."

What about working moms?

Here are a few wonderful activities for children in our community:

Mother Goose (music, stories, games)
Storytime at the library
Open play at bounce facilities
Craft activities
Art lessons
Mommy and Me yoga

And that's just a few I can think of off the top of my head. I am sure if I really looked, I could find many other examples. There are also groups for moms - La Leche League, holistic moms, meetups, playgroups.... you get the idea.

It's wonderful!

There is just one problem: they meet, almost without fail, somewhere between 9 am and 3 pm, on weekdays.
That leaves us out. Of all of them.

Sure, there are some weekend events. But on weekends, there is laundry to be done, house to be cleaned up, weddings, visits with family, and anything we couldn't do during the week. We can't often make it to these events. Usually, though, we don't fit the demographic anyway. Sophie is too young, Emma too old.

I would love to take Sophie to Mommy and me exercise or storytime. Mother Goose has times for various baby stages so she'd fit right in. Some of the mom groups sound amazing, too.

It's almost like working moms aren't counted anymore.

I don't want this to be a "Mommy wars" post - I've done both, working mom and stay-at-home mom. Both are important. One is not better than the other. One is not harder than the other. That is not the point of this at all. But I have noticed, and not only recently, that organizers forget that some moms work, too.

Would you surgically impair your tongue to lose weight?

I heard about this on the radio this morning: a plastic surgeon in LA has developed a "Miracle Patch" to help patients lose 20 lbs a month. No drugs or chemicals are used. Sounds good, right?

Wrong.

He surgically applies the patch to the tongue, making it extremely painful to eat. THAT is how the patients lose so much weight - they can't eat solid food.

It's crazy.

I just can't fathom being willing to have something surgically applied to your tongue that will make it so painful to eat anything at all. And what about speaking? How does the tongue know the difference? Or will we see a new trend of thin, mute people?

There is a gallery on the doctor's website that includes a photo of a patient having this procedure performed. It is a square mesh patch sewn onto the tongue with blue surgical thread at the corners. So, if Sally Somebody has this done, she will be thin, mute, and look like grandma sewed a piece of plastic canvas to her tongue with extra blue thread.

Just wonderful.

But what should we expect from someone who advertises "Mommy and Me" plastic surgery packages?

It's revolting.

 

Dating my daughter

I went on a date with my daughter on Sunday.

In the efforts to not have her feel excluded, replaced, or anything negative about having a new baby in the house, she has continued the Daddy-Daughter Date from her small childhood, but I realized last week that since the baby was born eight months ago, she and I hadn't really had any time together, just the two of us.

So, I made a date with her.

We left S home with Daddy, and started with lunch. We tried a new restaurant, and she was having trouble deciding what to order. I asked her what she was looking at, and she said she couldn't decide between the half sandwich and cup of soup, or a full sandwich because she could get fresh fruit as the side item. No pizza, no chips as the side. A sign of my first baby growing up.

We had a while before our movie started, so we did a little shopping next. We have a wedding to attend this Saturday; it's turned cold here and all her dressy clothes are very much for summer. We each got a new outfit for the wedding, and S even got a new dress. We looked through the dresses in E's size, then she wanted to look at dresses in my size. We got side-by-side fitting rooms and showed each other the dresses as we tried them on. She helped pick out S's, also. No asking for more, no grumbling about buying something for the baby our our day. Another sign that she's growing up.

Next was Borders. They were having a tent sale this weekend; the most expensive book we saw in the tent was $3.99 and all were buy one get one free. Too bad neither of us found anything. We went inside the store and found the book we were after. She has really gotten into the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovitch. She has read the first six books in just a few weeks, so we bought number seven.

Then it was time for the movie. We watched You Again, with Kristen Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, and Betty White. And the dad from Alias. It was a very funny movie, by the way. The whole theater was laughing out loud. We passed up popcorn (still full from lunch - we agreed that next time it will be half sandwiches and soup) but each got a box of candy. We laughed, we munched candy, moaned about how full we were but couldn't resist the sweets, laughed some more.

The absolute best part of the afternoon? We both agreed that we had a wonderful time. She wasn't embarassed to be out with her mom, we enjoyed each other's company and conversation, and didn't argue about anything. We sang along to the radio, chatted about anything and everything, and just hung out.

And it was incredible.

I think we need to make this a regularly scheduled event.

View from the living room floor

Hey, there's something bright and colorful!

*scoot-scoot-scoot*

Wow, they make sounds if I bang two together! I wonder what happens when I bang it on the dog...

*scoot-scoot-reach*

He jumps! Hahaha! Oh. Then he goes away. Well, I'll show him!

*scoot-scoot-scoot-scoot-scoot-scoot*

Oh hey, what's that? It's splashy! And the dog was drinking it so it must be good to play with.

*splash-splash-splash*

Hey! Mommy, why are you taking me back into the living room? I was having fun! I wasn't done yet!

*scoot-scoot-scoot*

Oh wait, what's this?

*reaching under the couch*

Cool! A long black thing with a square black thing in the middle! And it keeps coming! *gigglegigglegiggle*

Mommy! Why did you take that away? Oh, it's attached to the shiny thing that opens up and has lights and sounds and pictures of sister and me. Ok, it's still fun.

*reaching again*

*and again*

*and again*

But I don't wanna be in my exersaucer! Noooo!! Ooh, it plays music when I jump! Cool! What does this button do? And I can chew on this part all I want? Sweet! Look Mommy - I can reach the books now!

Hey, where did the doggies go? I can go back on the floor? Nice. Let's see what changed.

*scoot-scoot-scoot*

Mommy walked by! Pick me up!! Please!

Mmmm, Mommy cuddles. This is nice. I'm sleepy now after all that exploring. Naptime!

Day 30 - I can't believe this is the end!

Wow. I can't believe I've finally reached the end of the 30 days! I wonder if this is how Morgan Spurlock felt...  (man I miss that show)
So here it is - Day 30
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Dear Self,
I love your eyes. I love that you don't get angry easily. I love that you are positive. I love that you love to be with your family. I love how you play with your babies. I love that you love animals. I love that you have a good work ethic. I love that you have a conscience. I love that you are becoming more adventurous and less afraid of stepping out of the box. I especially love that. I love that you and your husband not only still love each other, but still LIKE each other after 13 years.
Sincerely,
Christine

Day 29- Laundry List

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself.

Ok, here goes...
My size
My teeth
I procrastinate
I let things slide
I have too much to do and not enough energy for all of it
I hate putting away laundry
I am in a dinner rut
I'm easily distracted
My hairstyle (or lack of)

Day 28 - Scary stuff

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

Oh boy. I have no doubt what I'd do if I was pregnant again - PANIC.
First of all, I've already had a procedure that is supposed to make me unable to get pregnant ever again. Second, Sophie is only 7 months old! Third, we only have a 3 bedroom house and it's not a large 3-bedroom house. Fourth, things are tight now. There is no way we could afford a third child.
But in the end, if it happened somehow, I suppose we'd do what families all over the world do - we'd make it work somehow.