Saturday, January 30, 2010

Holy crap this is going to be OUR child!

Ok, maybe I'm a little late in this revelation. Maybe VERY late, considering she's coming in three days. But this entire pregnancy, even though I can feel Sophie moving around, have seen her ultrasound pictures, and have been preparing like crazy for this little person to come, it's felt almost like a visitor was coming, someone else's child. Especially since we know what day she's going to be born. (Which, by the way, I LOVE since we have Emma and the dogs to plan for.)

Then yesterday, I was thinking about the shelves in her room. When Emma was born, I had lots of pretties to put on the shelves. There was a music box doll I had as a small child, flowers I got as a gift in the hospital, a couple figurines, things like that. Nearly 12 years later, they are all still in Emma's room. I tried to think of something I could put up in Sophie's room, but found myself thinking "That's personal, though." Then it hit me - what is more personal than our baby??

Logically, I understand the whole concept. We are about to have two children. Emma is going to have a sister. She will genetically be just as much a part of us as Emma is. But I have such a hard time wrapping my head around it! I have never lived in a family with more than one child. I'm an only child, my mom is an only child. My dad has 9 siblings, but we live too far away from any of them for me to have seen any kind of day-to-day interaction. Besides, they were all adults. The whole idea of multiple kids, of siblings, of that whole relationship, is so foreign to me!

I am not worried about this - I know once she is born it will all "click" and I'll be just fine, but for right now, it still seems like a very strange idea.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The countdown

This is a mixed-up week. On one side, today was my 36 week baby checkup. She's still a she!! I am very relieved at that. Also, she is definitely a big baby like Emma was, so we scheduled my induction. She will be born on February 2, less than 3 weeks away. I am so relieved to have a set date for her arrival, since now I also have to worry about Emma - if she's in school, if she will need picking up, if I go into labor in the middle of the night... I need to have a set date. Also, I'm a planner. I like to know exactly when things will happen and be ready.

On the other side, we're having a crisis with my kitty. If you are on my Facebook or Twitter lists, then you're aware of what is going on. Sunday night we came home from a visit with my parents to find Ocoee, my nearly 13 year old cat, seriously ill. She couldn't sit up, she wouldn't eat, and she was having small seizures every few minutes. After a sleepless night I took her to the vet first thing Monday morning. She is still there. One problem was a massive UTI, but the neurological problems have had her vet stumped. Yesterday she combed through Ocoee's chart (we've taken our animals there for 10 years now) and realized she's lost 2 lbs in only a few months. That is 1/4 her total body weight! Cats just don't do that unless something is wrong. Right now we're waiting for some blood test results, checking for less common feline viruses. If it is not a virus, then we're likely facing a brain tumor. Unfortunately, chances are higher that she has a terminal issue than a curable one, and I'm having a very hard time with that. We've had her and her twin sister since they were six month old kittens. I was 3 months pregnant with Emma when we got them, so they've always been our "first babies."

So right now we have two countdowns going on - one we are super excited about and one that devastates me. I am trying to focus on the good, though: a strong healthy baby, and a well-loved companion who has had a long pampered life. This week has been such an emotional rollercoaster but I am finally at peace with it.

Sunday, January 10, 2010


I've always thought of myself not so much as a technophobe, but as someone who didn't really need or want a lot of technological things. I much prefer the TV off, phone off, cozied up with a good book kind of day than one spent with 200 channels, four cell phones, three laptops, and a video game system kind of day. Sure, these things come in handy, but I could take them or leave them.

Then yesterday, I realized what I was doing: Sitting on the couch, using my Blackberry to read an article listing the "best of" from the CES show in Las Vegas last week and telling my husband all about the cool things I wanted!

Wow. I was amazed at myself! Granted, I've been immersed in this world for 10 or 11 years now with my husband's job, but I even surprised him this time. Usually he is telling me all about the CES show (their company usually attends) and I'm trying to follow what he says with a glazed-over expression on my face.

I was thinking even more, though, about how our lives have been forever changed by technology in the past decade. In 2000, we were buying CDs in stores, sending some email but lots of letters still, using a land line with an answering machine (cell phones were a luxury and actually turned off at times!), and using paper maps to find our way when lost away from home.

Now, we are in the age of Facebook and Twitter, satellite radio, and GPS. More and more homes have no land line (remember when it was the "poor folks" who had no home phone?) but rely on cell phones. We have Blackberries, iPhones, and the new Droid things. And - music sales are no longer tracked with CD sales but iTunes downloads. Even my 93 year old grandmother has email access now!

So, is all this stuff good or bad? Eh, I am not getting into all that. I am just enjoying getting to know long distance family members on Facebook, new friends on Twitter, and playing with the cool toys =)

Saturday, January 2, 2010


In around one more month, Sophie will be here. I am uncomfortable much of the time, and run out of energy way too quickly for my to-do lists (I am NOT one who can sit back and let things be). But, I am calm. I am peaceful. I am ready.

A while back, I decided Sophie's room didn't smell "baby" enough yet. It smelled like paint and new flooring. So I picked up a scented oil plug-in at the store, and chose a lavender vanilla scent to go in it. I am not a fan of straight-up lavender (the artificial scent, anyway) but was pleasantly surprised with this one. It is peaceful. Calm. Relaxing.

Sometimes, in the evening when the house is still and quiet, the scent will drift down the hall. I smell it, and feel happy. Some mornings, when I am rushing around the house, getting ready for work, I will open the door, step inside the room, and smell. I relax. Sophie isn't even here, yet, and I can smell her. It is the scent of her bedding, her clothes, even the Boppy pillow. I smell her room, and I think "soon."

When I am tired, when I am frustrated at something else I can't do, when I just flat out need a hug and no one is home, I breathe in her scent. And all is well again.